"The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry."
~ Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell To Arms



"Our lives disconnect and reconnect, we move on, and later we may touch one another, again bounce away. This is the felt shape of a human life, neither simply linear nor wholly disjunctive nor endlessly bifurcating, but rather this bouncey sequence of bumping into's and tumblings apart."
~ Salman Rushdie, The Ground Beneath Her Feet



Tuesday, March 15, 2011

The Journey...Xanadu & Some Random Thoughts....

“….some of it’s magic, some of it's tragic,but I had a good life all the way.” ~ Jimmy Buffett, He Went To Paris

I realized today that I will not be able to be in a relationship with anyone unless I am able to trust enough to tell all that there is about me, my life, and my whole story. And, then after hearing my story the one the story is told to will still like me, love me, accept me. At this point in my life I doubt this is possible.




As I sit here I do not know what the date is, I do not know what time it is and I do not care. I have no phone, no laptop while I sit here at a café in Fremantle and it is wonderful. Free from so many constraints and shackles that are a means of enslavement and control over my being.

Attempting at every turn to make me into a perpetual human doing, a cog in the mechanism of mere human existence rather than a human being infused with life and exuberance – alive to all the possibilities that being human can afford.





I have been struggling with what it is, what it means to actually be a Christian and more specifically an Evangelical?

As I am sitting in Fremantle and thinking about this, I have come to the conclusion, as fleeting as that conclusion may be – that the only way that I am o.k. with God is to remind myself that what I see 95% of the time with Christianity and the Evangelical camp is not at all what Jesus was or is.

Only after meditating on that notion am I better at being who I profess to be and not be, the endless bifurcation of my false and true self, my identity. I have to believe that Jesus loves and accepts me and that it is his affection, acceptance and love that I need and not some variation of what has become Christianity.

For it is him and only him that will sustain and create my true self, my identity – he says, “"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light" (Matthew 11:28-30 TNIV).
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