The Irish Poems...

Trinity

Where is your kiss?

I am dying.

Help me to get up,

To stop the bullets,

Or…has all of my experience been a simulacrum?

All of it, nothing original, no reality, no truth,

All that I have done,

All that I believe in?

Has it been for naught?

A waste,

A dream gone horribly wrong,

A blighting of my body,

Bleeding of my spirit?

There is no way out, is there?

Death is the only door.

Is that where you are?

Waiting for me…

Omega

Death now calls to me,

It knows me by name.

Not only at night,

But now,

Also in the day,

My journey, my escape,

Has done nothing to cure my ailment,

I ache still.

There is no one to hold me,

Loneliness is now a constant companion.

It's shriek rings in my ears.

It does not relent.

I fear each day, the rising sun.

No longer wanting to wake,

Eternal sleep, endless darkness on a sea of unconsciousness beckons me.

And I answer, “yes” – take me,

So, there will be, “No more pain. Wake no more. Nobody owns.”

My flesh rots with angst,

My mind is anxious,

And my life but a waste,

An ugly, horrible man,

Betrayed and betrayer.

Lost and invisible to all,

No daughter of Eve would want me,

Unattractive and undesirable,

I am a wreck and devastation to all.

To forlorn, to needy, to sensitive, to everything,

Yes, Dante, I have abandoned hope.

Stuck now in Hades,

A purgatory of vicious memories,

I dream of every night,

They haunt me.

There is no release,

No freeing of my mind,

I have lost, understood now by none.

Condemned by fate,

To live and die alone,

Death and defeat,

By my own will and hands,

Hands blood stained, like Lady Macbeth,

Washing and washing,

No cleansing,

No consolation,

No reconciliation,

No salvation,

No kiss,

No breath of life.

“Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more.”

Only dark death will squelch my ache,

My dreams, my torments,

My thoughts, my fears,

I desire to quench the thirst of my longings in wormwood.

Bitter, bitter, bitter,

Spoiled and stained,

All that I have ever touched or loved…

Killarney Afternoon

Nothing,

I walk and walk.

Bleakness,

The page is empty.

My heart bleeds,

“…shielding the gaping wounds which the words had left in his heart…”

For what it thought was true.

Now betrayed and broken.

Irish Rain

I walked home in the Irish rain,

Nothing has changed,

I am invisible.

Johanna

Touch of a goddess,

Beauty and gifts of Acesco,

“Your body is a chalice, wine-filled.”  

Like Odysseus I journeyed and found you.

And I, like him, “While on the sea…” my “…spirit suffered many torments.”

You have calmed the sea,

And unleashed truth with your warm breath,

What had been deep and hidden you saved and rose to life,

During the Irish night and into the rainy dawn,

I thought, “Until the day breaks and the shadows flee, I will go to the mountain of myrrh and to the hill of incense.”

Two hands like magic wands,

Inviting eyes, “… wells of light, deep with mystery…” and hair dark as the night.

I thought, “Touch me. Soft eyes. Soft soft soft hand. I am lonely here. O touch me soon, now. …I am quiet here alone. Sad too. Touch, touch me.”

And you acquiesced.

Celtic skin, new land to discover, to explore, to journey over,

And I, “…searched for the island in the great river with the high steep banks….finding it and losing it, and then finding it for good.”

You whispered, “Breathe on my garden, fill the air with spice fragrance. Oh, let my lover enter his garden! Yes, let him eat the fine, ripe fruits.”

The land quivered around the island, the garden bloomed, and with teaming exultation the land quieted and came to rest.

With the lingering taste of the island’s sweet dew on my tongue I kissed the lips, “…the mouth like the best wine…” that breathed life into my tormented soul.

Last Night in Killarney

On the pull,

Invisible, now visible,

Undesirable, now desired.

The craic is ninety,

Words, a touch, a kiss,

Beer and a vodka coke,

Alone no more, the ache subsided,

A body, a friend, a night spent together.

Now, something to live for, to feel for, to breathe for…

 

All in All

  Life without time,

 
Time without meaning,

No longer rushing,

No longer held captive by fear.

All in all we go on,

Walking through all that life throws at us.

All in all and on and on,

Each day we go on.

Sunrise, then sunset,

Worries and tears fall and then give way to smiles and laughter.

The days now brighter,

Filled with memories of Killarney.

All in all and on and on,

Each day we go on...