Vertigo Of The Soul...Johnny Cash - I See A Darkness...

Well, you're my friend, and can you see?
Many times, we've been out drinking;
Many times we shared our thoughts.
But did you ever, ever notice, the kind of thoughts I got?
Well, you know I have a love; a love for everyone I know.
And you know I have a drive, to live I won't let go.
But can you see its opposition, comes rising up sometimes?
That its dreadful imposition, comes blacking in my mind?

And then I see a darkness,
And then I see a darkness,
And then I see a darkness,
And then I see a darkness.
Did you know how much I love you?
Its a hope that somehow you,
Can save me from this darkness.

Well, I hope that someday buddy
We have peace in our lives;
Together or apart,
Alone or with our wives,
And we can stop our whoring,
And pull the smiles inside,
And light it up forever,
And never go to sleep.
My best unbeaten brother,
This isn't all I see.

Oh no, I see a darkness.
Oh no, I see a darkness.
(Oh) no, I see a darkness.
Oh no, I see a darkness.
Did you know how much I love you?
Its a hope that somehow you,
Can save me from this darkness.

Vertigo Of The Soul...Creed - What's This Life For...

Divine Milieu...The Rolling Stones - Sympathy For The Devil...The Problem Of Evil...

A Warfare Worldview:

“A worldview that combines belief in the Trinity with a recognition of the war torn nature of this world.… is a view of the world that understands that there are good and bad spirits significantly involved in the affairs of the world.”
~Greg Boyd, Satan and the Problem of Evil: Constructing a Trinitarian Warfare Theodicy



Please allow me to introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
I've been around for a long, long year
Stole many a man's soul and faith

And I was 'round when Jesus Christ
Had his moment of doubt and pain
Made damn sure that Pilate
Washed his hands and sealed his fate

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game

I stuck around St. Petersburg
When I saw it was a time for a change
Killed the Czar and his ministers
Anastasia screamed in vain

I rode a tank
Held a general's rank
When the Blitzkrieg raged
And the bodies stank

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guess my name, oh yeah
Ah, what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah

I watched with glee
While your kings and queens
Fought for ten decades
For the gods they made

I shouted out,
"Who killed the Kennedys?"
When after all
It was you and me

Let me please introduce myself
I'm a man of wealth and taste
And I laid traps for troubadours
Who get killed before they reached Bombay

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game, oh yeah, get down, baby

Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name, oh yeah
But what's confusing you
Is just the nature of my game

Just as every cop is a criminal
And all the sinners saints
As heads is tails
Just call me Lucifer
'Cause I'm in need of some restraint

So if you meet me
Have some courtesy
Have some sympathy, have some taste

Use all your well-learned politesse
Or I'll lay your soul to waste,
Pleased to meet you
Hope you guessed my name,

But what's puzzling you
Is the nature of my game…


With the response to Barry McGuire’s, Eve of Destruction - I thought through the use of the Rolling Stones, Sympathy For The Devil I would begin to address the Problem of Evil. I believe that the Rolling Stones profoundly hit on some truths in this song - as wars wage, cruelty and hatred is perpetuated, all in the name of political freedom the powers and principalities behind the systemic evil laugh and prod us humans on to engage in such madness and insanity.

As the Apostle Paul wrote, "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms (Ephesians 6:12 TNIV).

The struggle is not against "flesh and blood" - if it has "flesh and blood" it is not our enemy. It is what is going on behind the scenes in the spiritual realms, what Mick Jaeggar is singing about, Lucifer being present at all the significant world events and behind all the evil.

“…we feel secure when we bracket off the complexity and ambiguity, and convince ourselves that the world unfolds according to a divine blueprint. We assume that everything can be explained by appealing to God’s will or the wills of people. This theology works only so long as we can in fact bracket off reality. But when reality in all its unfathomable complexity and war-torn horror encroaches on us….victims suffer and so does our theology.…we can and must know that our whole environment is under siege by forces that hate God and all that is good. By our own rebellion we are caught in the crossfire of a cosmic war, and we suffer accordingly.”
~Greg Boyd, Is God To Blame

“To have say-so means that the explanation for our choices lies within ourselves, and thus we are ultimately responsible for the effect these choices have on ourselves and others . Not everything happens because God wills it or specifically allows it. Agents will many things even though God doesn’t. God has a reason why he creates agents free, but he doesn’t have a reason for why agents freely make the particular decisions they make.
God is infinitely intelligent, of course, and thus is able to perfectly anticipate a response to each decision. In this sense he assigns a reason to each decision after the fact. What others intend for evil, God intends for good (Gen 50:20). But the reason why the decision was made in the first place ultimately lies within the agent, not God.”
~Greg Boyd, Is God To Blame

“…God could have created a world in which his will is always done. Had he chosen to do so, however, a world in which his will is possibly not done would have been ruled out. Thus he would of ruled out a world in which other agents make free choices….this means he would of ruled out a world where love is possible.
…if God decided to create a world where love is possible, he thereby ruled out a world in which his will is always done. If he chooses to create this kind of world, he can’t guarantee that his will is always done, not because he lacks the power but because of the kind of world he created. Just as a triangle can’t be round, so too a world that includes love can’t guarantee that God’s will always comes to pass.
There is no reason to avoid saying God can’t do something so long as we are clear that this ‘can’t’ is the logical consequence of decisions God made.”
~Greg Boyd, Is God To Blame

“Scripture says we suffer under the tyranny of a ‘ruler’ or ‘god’ or ‘power’ of this world (Jn 12:31; 14:30; 16:11; 2 Cor 4:4; Eph 2:2; 1 Jn 5:19).
~Greg Boyd, Is God To Blame

Divine Milieu...Bruce Springsteen - Wrecking Ball...

Yeah we know that come tomorrow, none of this will be here
So hold tight on your anger Hold tight on your anger
Hold tight to your anger, and don't fall to your fear
Now when all this steel and these stories, they drift away to rust
And all our youth and beauty, it's been given to the dust
And your game has been decided, and you're burning the clock down
And all our little victories and glories, have turned into parking lots
When your best hopes and desires, are scattered through the wind
And hard times come, hard times go
Hard times come, hard times go
And hard times come, hard times go
Hard times come, hard times go Hard times come, hard times go
Yeah just to come again
Bring on your wrecking ball
Bring on your wrecking ball
Come on and take your best shot, let me see what you've got

Divine Milieu...Bruce Springsteen - Brilliant Disguise...

"God have mercy on the man,
Who doubts what he's sure of..."

Divine Milieu...Bon Jovi...One Step Closer...

I've seen the heart of darkness
Let's just say I crossed over that line
Held hands with the hopeless
In too deep on that ride
Went around one more time
When you're standing on the edge
You don't look down
Till you're ready and willing to fly...

And I'm willing to try this time
I hitched a ride with forgiveness
In that river of emotion
I went down a third time
I spent the night with the living
Took a chance looked inside
Didn't know who I'd find
Standing on the corner of hello and goodbye
All alone it's there I made up my mind

Thought..."Blue Moon" and Community....

"Once in a blue moon...you spend an amazing moment in time with those who mean the world to you...but be careful, they may be lost to you tomorrow...so cherish it and hold it close to your heart...it may be the only thing that keeps you from complete sadness..."
~k.e.

The Journey...The Story...How It May Appear...

“In terms of the world’s sanity, Jesus is crazy as a coot, and anybody who thinks he (or she) can follow him without being a little crazy too is laboring less under a cross than under a delusion.” ~Frederick Buechner




"Then he took his staff in his hand, chose five smooth stones from the stream, put them in the pouch of his shepherd's bag and, with his sling in his hand, approached the Philistine" (1Samuel 17:40 TNIV).

“…God’s will for us is less about our comfort than it is about our contribution. God would never choose for us safety at the cost of significance. God created you so that your life would count, not so that you could count the days of your life.” ~ Erwin McManus

“If Jesus would not avoid the ‘place of the skull,’ then we should not be surprised where He might lead us. If even He found Himself sweating blood at Gethsemane, then we should be certain we will stand at crisis moments where all we can do after asking for relieve is declare, ‘Not my will, but Yours.’ In those moments you may find very few who stand by you to provide you comfort and strength, and strangely enough, you may find far too many trying to reason with you that God would never require so much of anyone. Yet even with all the noise pounding inside your head, you will still clearly hear the voice of Christ and His barbarian call if you listen carefully enough." ~Erwin McManus

“We are called to join the barbarian tribe and to embrace our call as mystical warriors. Although you can learn important things about God from others, in the end to know the barbarian way you must receive your instructions from God Himself. If this isn’t enough to drive you crazy, I don’t know what is. Which I guess leads me to the point: there’s a level of insanity that comes with the barbarian way.” ~Erwin McManus

“When you join the barbarian tribe, you begin to live your life with your eyes and your heart wide open. When the Spirit of God envelopes your soul, your spirit comes alive, and everything changes for you. You are no longer the same. And to those who cannot see the invisible, to those who refuse to believe it exists, the path you choose, the life you live, may lead them to conclude that you are not simply different but insane. People who are fully alive look out of their minds to those who simply exist.” ~ Erwin McManus

“He (Jesus) has no ambition to make you normal. The healthier you become, the freer you are to simply be yourself. The more your identity is rooted in God’s value for you, the less you are controlled and limited by what others think of you.” ~Erwin McManus

“For the civilized disciple, religion provides stability and certainty; for the barbarian, a life in God is one of risk and mystery. And maybe even a little insanity. There’s no way to escape that barbarian’s can appear out of their minds. No reasonable person would fully follow God everywhere He calls. God is simply unreasonable.” ~ Erwin McManus

“Anyone who ever risks listening to God and following His voice knows that to everyone else who is deaf to His voice, your actions will seem as if you’ve gone crazy.” ~Erwin McManus

“But maybe the most insulting thing that Jesus said or did was to become the friend of sinners. He focused His ministry on women and men who were despised by those in spiritual authority. The path God chose for Himself was far too common for their sensibility. They couldn’t imagine that God would choose that kind of life for Himself, God would be above such things.” ~Erwin McManus

Luke 5: 27-32 for example:

‘After this, Jesus went out and saw a tax collector by the name of Levi sitting at his tax booth. "Follow me," Jesus said to him, and Levi got up, left everything and followed him. Then Levi held a great banquet for Jesus at his house, and a large crowd of tax collectors and others were eating with them. But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law who belonged to their sect complained to his disciples, "Why do you eat and drink with tax collectors and sinners?" Jesus answered them, "It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance."’

“…we need to find the courage and freedom to be ourselves. We need to let ourselves become the unique individuals that God created us to be. We need to stop trying to be what everyone else wants us to be and stop worrying about what everyone else thinks. Civilized people measure one another by their robes and signet rings. The barbarians measure only the heart and actions. Barbarians live as if they are naked before God and naked before men. They have nothing to hide; they do not waste their energy pretending to be someone they’re not.” ~Erwin McManus

The Journey...The Story.."The Broken....The Beaten and the Damned"

“So David got away and escaped to the Cave of Adullam. When his brothers and others associated with his family heard where he was, they came down and joined him. Not only that, but all who were down on their luck came around--losers and vagrants and misfits of all sorts. David became their leader. There were about four hundred in all” (1 Samuel 22:1-2 The Message).

The Place of The Rock...

Life...Messy...and Real..."The River"

“Is a dream a lie if it don't come true
Or is it something worse that sends me down to the river
Though I know the river is dry
That sends me down to the river tonight…”

Life...Messy...and Real..."Spare Parts"

She sighed Ma sometimes my whole life feels like one big mistake
She settled in in a back room time passed on
Later that winter a son came along
Spare parts
And broken hearts
Keep a dirty world turnin' around and around

The Journey...The Story..."The Broken...The Beaten and the Damned..."

“I prefer to think that the difference between the Samaritan and the other two (the priest and the Levite) was not just that he was more morally sensitive than they were but that he had, as they had not, the eye of a poet or a child or a saint – an eye that was to look at the man in the ditch and see in all its extraordinary unexpectedness the truth itself, which was that at the deepest level of their being, he and that other one there were not entirely separate selves at all. Not really at all.

Your life and my life flow into each other as wave flows into wave, and unless there is peace and joy and freedom for you, there can be no real peace and joy or freedom for me. To see reality – not as we expect it to be but as it is – is to see that unless we live for each other and in and through each other, we do not really live very satisfactorily: that there can really be life only where there really is, in just this sense, love. This is not just the way things ought to be. Most of the time it is not the way we want things to be. It is the way things are. And not for one instant do I believe that it is by accident that it is the way things are. That would be quite an accident.”
~ Frederick Buechner

The Journey...The Story..."The Broken...The Beaten and the Damned" - con't...

He said, "Son when you grow up,
would you be the savior of the broken,
the beaten and the damned?"
He said "Will you defeat them,
your demons, and all the non-believers,
the plans that they have made?"
"Because one day I'll leave you,
A phantom to lead you in the summer,
To join The Black Parade."

The Journey...The Story..."The Broken...The Beaten and the Damned" - con't...

The Journey...The Story...The Broken...The Beaten and the Damned" - con't...

I am attempting to create, to paint pictures from my story onto the canvas of this blog so as to in some limited way record my life and in so doing maybe find out who I am. Through writing, images, songs, videos, poetry…or whatever means try and tell my story…only grace makes my existence worthwhile, or sustainable, and maybe being real will help someone else. I don’t know though…recently I was accused of being phony and all “…the cup of grace stuff…” being phony as well, as if what I write and post here is not real or not who I really am.

Hmmmm…

Not sure how to respond to that – I am a sinner, I fuck up a lot, I swear, I drink, hang out at bars, go to church, believe Jesus lived, died and rose again for me, that he loves me and his grace is sufficient…

I am in solidarity with Paul, in that, “Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life”
(1Timothy 1:15-16 TNIV).

And…

“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. So I find this law at work: Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in my sinful nature a slave to the law of sin” (Romans 7:15-25).

And this from John,

“This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us” (1John 1:5-10).

What do you do with that…being human…still in “the deceptive state of being” – o.k. maybe I am a phony, a hypocrite, a sinner, but I ask who isn’t or who has not been other than Jesus? Isn’t that the point – why Jesus came? To save, “…the broken, the beaten and the damned…” isn’t that why he hung out with the misfits, the failures, the phonies, the sinners, the broken people? He is the Savior! It doesn’t matter how fucked up we are – he saves! He loves! He knows! He is compassion!

So yes, I am a phony, as phony as Peter when he denied Jesus, as phony as Thomas when he doubted, as phony as Paul when he failed, as phony as any follower of Jesus as we all are on a journey that none of us has arrived at the end of yet…we are stumbling along…and it is only through the grace of God and the sacrifice of Jesus that we can even begin to be in any sense not phony.

So what else can I say? I am what I am…and is that not why there is grace…?

The Journey...The Story...The Broken...The Beaten and the Damned" - con't...

The Journey...The Story...The Broken...The Beaten and the Damned" - con't...

Op-Ed Contributor - Many Faiths, One Truth - NYTimes.com

Op-Ed Contributor - Many Faiths, One Truth - NYTimes.com

Divine Milieu...Barry McGuire - Eve Of Destruction...

Woke up this morning and had a New York Times breaking news e-mail on my Blackberry saying that, “North Korea is severing all ties with South Korea as tensions mount…” and yesterday the United States stated it was going to increase covert ops in the Middle East. All this with the backdrop of Afghanistan and Iraq wars still ongoing and the words of Barry McGuire started playing in my head. Even though the song, Eve of Destruction was first released in 1965 it asks questions that are just as or even more valid today.

Barry McGuire's song along with Courtney Love’s, Letter to God I believe ought to be getting a lot of air time on “Christian” radio stations as both songs in their lyrics ask existentially fundamental, authentic, real questions of what it means to be human and be in co-existence with ourselves, our neighbors and with God…unfortunately neither song will be on “Christian” radio as the “deceptive state of being” is to comfortable. Jesus is preferred as a domesticated “caged” deity and the god of nationalism and prosperity is worshipped with sword in hand as opposed to the God with a towel in his hand and dying on the cross.

As Ghandi said, “I like your Christ, but not you’re Christians” – grace…grace…grace… hmmmm…

The eastern world, it is exploding
Violence flarin', bullets loadin'
You're old enough to kill, but not for votin'
You don't believe in war, but what's that gun you're totin'
And even the Jordan River has bodies floatin'

But you tell me
Over and over and over again, my friend
Ah, you don't believe
We're on the eve
of destruction.

Don't you understand what I'm tryin' to say
Can't you feel the fears I'm feelin' today?
If the button is pushed, there's no runnin' away
There'll be no one to save, with the world in a grave
[Take a look around ya boy, it's bound to scare ya boy]

And you tell me
Over and over and over again, my friend
Ah, you don't believe
We're on the eve
of destruction.

Yeah, my blood's so mad feels like coagulatin'
I'm sitting here just contemplatin'
I can't twist the truth, it knows no regulation.
Handful of senators don't pass legislation
And marches alone can't bring integration
When human respect is disintegratin'
This whole crazy world is just too frustratin'

And you tell me
Over and over and over again, my friend
Ah, you don't believe
We're on the eve
of destruction.

Think of all the hate there is in Red China
Then take a look around to Selma, Alabama
You may leave here for 4 days in space
But when you return, it's the same old place
The poundin' of the drums, the pride and disgrace
You can bury your dead, but don't leave a trace
Hate your next-door neighbor, but don't forget to say grace
And… tell me over and over and over and over again, my friend
You don't believe
We're on the eve
Of destruction
Mm, no no, you don't believe
We're on the eve
of destruction.

@(RED) Film Premieres Tonight!

@(RED) Film Premieres Tonight!

Divine Milieu...Don Henley - The Heart Of The Matter

I'm learning to live without you now
But I miss you, Baby
The more I know, the less I understand
All the things I thought I figured out, I have to learn again
I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But everything changes
And my friends seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

There are people in your life who've come and gone
They let you down and hurt your pride
Better put it all behind you; life goes on
You keep carrin' that anger, it'll eat you inside

I've been tryin' to get down to the heart of the matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter
But I think it's about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

"Doors of Perception..."

"If the doors of perception were cleansed everything would appear to man as it is, infinite. For man has closed himself up, till he sees all things thru' narrow chinks of his cavern."
~ William Blake

For some reason these words from William Blake kept creeping into my mind today. Not sure why exactly. Maybe, because for a time I hoped “the doors of perception” would be cleansed for me - but now, especially today, I believe I will prefer to only look through the “narrow chinks” and remain in my “cavern” as I no longer want to risk anything or any part of me. It is too hard to see everything as it is, the infinite is too dangerous and love is too messy.

The solitude and loneliness of the cavern may well be the preferable state, a happy self imposed exile of delusion so as to pretend as all is well whether or not that is the reality or not.

What I believed to be real may have only been a dream, a fleeting sense of worth, of meaning…that now finds itself consumed by the fear that rages in all of our hearts. So is Alfred Tennyson right in his pithy commentary on love, “'Tis better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all…”? Hmmmm… not sure about that – maybe not loving at all and then not ever having to feel the pain of loss is better? If you never loved, you would never loose and as a consequence to not know or taste what that love is would be preferable to the bitter taste of loss.

What is the worth of a life? Where is the meaning in it all? As I have been contemplating life today there seems to be a confluence of circumstances and moments that are increasingly difficult to make any sense out of? I wonder if there is really enough grace for all the sideways actions and missteps in the course of a life…is that the means of escape from all the confusion – grace?

A Dirge ~ Letter To God...

Dear God, I'm writing this letter to you
Cause I don't have a clue, can you help me?
I'm sitting here, simply trying to figure out
What my life's all about, can you tell me?

I never wanted to be, the person you see
Won’t you tell me who I am?
I always wanted to die, but you kept me here alive
Please tell me who I am?

I lie awake conducting this symphony
That you have gifted to me, I can't ever sleep
Don't get mad, cause I get weak inside
And I start to fall apart, cause I feel nothing
I never wanted to be, some kind of comic relief
Please show me who I am

I've been tortured and scorned, since the day that I was born
But I don't know who I am, and I thank you man for everything
Sorry I'm so frightened about all of it, but I wish I could give you more
And all the lights are shining down on me, and I feel violated by it all
I never wanted to be, the person you see, but thank you

Oh God please tell me now, are you disappointed? Are you proud?
Haven't I done everything, everything?
I'm so sorry I'm so weak, and I turned into a freak
But I don't know anything, anything
I've lost all self-esteem, my baby and everything and I feel nothing, nothing
Oh God please tell me now
Oh God please tell me now, cause I feel nothing,
And dear God I'm writing this letter to you
I am coming unglued please help me...

Are those not great lyrics, questions? When I read the words it reminds me of a lament, a dirge, a crying out to God, like something David would of written, a psalm…I think David would of liked listening to Courtney singing this song, he would of felt it, got it, related to it. As she is singing in the video I couldn’t help but think that if Jesus would have been in the audience (because he would not fear what anyone would of said to him about being there) he would of found a way back stage and find Courtney to hang out and talk with her. I imagine him saying something like this as he had a beer with her, “I love you…you are beautiful and I am proud of you…look in my eyes and see how much I love you…you can love yourself as well and I will always be here to help you when you are weak, when you are high and strung out on drugs, when you are desperate, when you feel nothing – feel me holding your hand…” And I believe his presence would be so powerful, his mere presence and love…so I ask myself – am I to do no less? Not preach, not cajole…simple be with people who are asking the same questions, feeling the same fears, doubts, anxieties, crying out for comfort…Hmmmmm…how many people need their hands held?

Grace in A Poem From A 9 Year Old...

My friend Laura posted the last part of a poem on her Facebook that was composed by a nine year old student of hers. I wrote to Laura and said that I believed this section of the poem was an eloquent expression of grace...and that I would share it here on my blog...


"When I am full of silence, I settle in my quiet place, contented and alone, and think no other thoughts except the thoughts that are my own. When I am full of silence, I do not care to play, to run and jump and fuss about the way I usually do all day. The pictures painted in my mind are all I need to see when I am full of silence...When I am truly me."

What Is a Philosopher? - Opinionator Blog - NYTimes.com

What Is a Philosopher? - Opinionator Blog - NYTimes.com

Grace in Our Stories...

This morning I posted this a discussion topic on "A Cup Of Grace Ministries" Facebook Page: http://www.facebook.com/topic.php?topic=79&uid=113988185306969#!/pages/A-Cup-Of-Grace-Ministries/113988185306969

And I thought I would post it on the blog as well for any that are interested in sharing their stories...


I was thinking this morning...well actually for a few days now about "our" stories. We all have one, a unique, maybe a bit tragic, a bit sad and also happy, joy filled -
I guess our stories are really all that we are. What it is that makes us each human, how we have all arrived at this place, where we are right now, at this moment in time?

It is not that we have arrived, but that we are travelling...travelling together or alone or a combination of the two.

As part of the wedding service for my friends Mark and Robyn I read this from Frederick Buechner:

“In the long run the stories all overlap and mingle like the searchlights in the dark. The stories Jesus tells are part of the story Jesus is, and the other way round. And the story Jesus is part of the story you and I are because Jesus has become so much a part of the world’s story that it is impossible to imagine how any of our stories would have turned out without him…. And my story and your story are all part of each other too if only because we have sung together and prayed together and seen each other’s faces so that we are at least a footnote at the bottom of each other’s stories. In other words all our stories are in the end one story, one vast story about being human, being together, being here. Does the story point beyond itself? Does it mean something? What is the truth of this interminable, sprawling story we all of us are? Or is it absurd to ask about the truth of it as it is to ask about the truth of the wind howling through a crack under the door?”
So what I think would be cool or interesting is if we would begin to share our stories here and in so doing be encouraged or inspired or awed by the stories we all have to tell. Our stories about this thing called life that we are all a part of - that we all share in."

My thought in starting this page was to provide a place to have a conversation of where we have been, where we are going and most importantly where we are right now, and right now….and…right now…and…as each moment moves past us and makes us who we are.

The more I have talked to people the more fascinated by all the stories I have become, how each person has gotten to where they are at. I do believe that there is some sort of liberation that occurs from the telling of our story, in knowing we are not alone, that there is solidarity in all that happens to us and if we look we can find someone who “knows” what it is we are experiencing and in that there is profound comfort.

So, in the coming days I will begin writing and sharing my story here, my journey. I call it (borrowing from Brennan Manning) my “second journey”. For me this second journey started on August 10, 2007 at 10:28 at night with a call from Carey Johnson (our Sherriff in Lake County, Mn) telling me about the accident my friends Mark and Mary had just been in and in which Mary was killed. That was the beginning for me of why and where I am at now. So I will continue to tell this story and I hope that some of you will also share some of your stories…

The Statesman - New York Times

The Statesman - New York Times

Grace In Creating...

Cafe's, coffee, wine... soaking in life and then creating life on the blank pages...

Thought...Erwin McManus...

“Religion exists not because God loves too little, but because we need love so much. In the end all religions misrepresent God. They either dictate requirements for love or simply become a requiem for love. I think many of us have rightly given up on God on this basis alone. We’ve been told that God is a reluctant lover and that his standards must be met before there can be any talk of love. This is lunacy. Love exists because God is love.”
~Erwin McManus, from Soul Cravings

Grace...In Rest...

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
~ Jesus, from Matthew 11:28-30 TNIV


“A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out, till he leads justice to victory.”
~ spoken about Jesus from the book of Isaiah - Matthew 12:20 and Isaiah 42:3 TNIV

‘God keeps renewing the promise and setting the date as today, just as he did in David's psalm, centuries later than the original invitation: Today, please listen, don't turn a deaf ear . . . And so this is still a live promise. It wasn't canceled at the time of Joshua; otherwise, God wouldn't keep renewing the appointment for "today." The promise of "arrival" and "rest" is still there for God's people. God himself is at rest. And at the end of the journey we'll surely rest with God.’
~ Hebrews 4:7-10 The Message

A Divine Milieu Re-Post...U2 - Where The Streets Have No Name...

“I see that rain cloud disappearing without a trace… but I can dance, dance, dance in the dirty rain…where the streets have no name…”~ Bono

Today, I have been reminded by a friend of the dance, to dance, regardless of what life may throw at you or you may throw at yourself…dance. Whether it be a waltz as that is all that is left in you or a Salsa with all the life bursting forth from you – either way, both are dances, so dance with the rhythm your heart is beating out for your soul and in “so doing” be alive to all the possibilities around you.

“Except for the point, the still point,
There would be no dance, and there is only the dance.”~T.S. Eliot, from Burnt Norton

A Philosophical Distraction...Perception and Decisions...

How does perception impact individual decision making?

Well….do we perceive what we see or see what we perceive? What is the basis for reality? How do we know what we know…the epistemological conundrum.

How we know is directly linked to perception as our perceptions are our interpretations of reality. There is then a correlation between our behavior and our perceptions whether the perceptions are an accurate interpretation of reality or not.

As Greg Boyd is pointing out by referencing Plato and the Timaeus and the error therein, our perceptions or the light we allow in by which we perceive reality is the vital factor in determining our actions or as Jesus correlates it to the health of our body:

“Plato argued that we see not by light entering our eyes (as we now know is the case) but by light proceeding out of our eyes (Timaeus 45b). For Plato, seeing is an active, not a passive, process. Since knowledge was considered to be a kind of seeing, Plato also construed knowing as acting on something rather than being acted upon (Sophist 248-49). I’ve discovered that this mistaken view of seeing and knowing is picked up and defended by a host of Hellenistic philosophers. (As an aside, Jesus seems to have capitalized on this mistaken view of eyesight to illustrate a point [Mt 6:22; Lk 11:34])” (http://www.gregboyd.org/blog/an-ancient-philosophical-mistake-in-the-debate-about-open-theism/).

“Your eye is the lamp of your body. When your eyes are healthy, your whole body also is full of light. But when they are unhealthy, your body also is full of darkness” (Luke 11:34 TNIV).

So, yes perception is directly related to decision making and put another way – there can be no decision making without perception as reality has to be perceived. The critical question then becomes what it is we are perceiving as that will determine our decisions.

YouTube - Brennan Manning Sermon: Kingdom Works 1999 Video

YouTube - Brennan Manning Sermon: Kingdom Works 1999 Video

Grace In Books...Some Reading To Help On The Journey To Freedom...

"...when religion is created on the subtle premise that God withholds his love and you must submit to the system to earn that love, I consider it the worst of corruption."
~ Soul Cravings,Erwin McManus


Repenting of Religion, Gregory Boyd

Irresistible Revolution, Shane Claiborne

The Reason for God: Belief in an Age of Skepticism, Timothy Keller

The Shack, William P. Young

What So Amazing About Grace, Philip Yancey

The Jesus I Never Knew, Philip Yancey

Soul Survivor, Philip Yancey

The Myth Of A Christian Religion, Gregory Boyd

The Barbarian Way, Erwin McManus

Soul Cravings, Erwin McManus

Travelling Mercies, Anne Lamott

Plan B: Further Thoughts on Grace, Anne Lamott

Velvet Elvis, Rob Bell

Blue Like Jazz, Don Miller

Abba’s Child, Brennan Manning

Ragamuffin Gospel, Brenan Manning

Listen To Your Life: Daily Meditations, Frederick Buechner

Thought...From Brennan Manning...& Brandi Carlile...

“Not far away from us, there is someone who is afraid and needs our courage; someone who is lonely and needs our presence. There is someone hurt needing our healing; unloved, needing our touching; old, needing to feel that we care; weak, needing the support of our shared weakness….When we bring a smile to the face of someone in pain, we have brought Christ to him or her.”
~B.M.


“Thoughts of you could give me smile lines…”
~ B.C.

Thought...

I wonder how many places Jesus ended up at the end of the day? I bet we would be surprised if we knew, maybe even a bit shocked, perhaps a bit scandalized...yet - think about it...where has God not been?

Grace in Places..."The Blue Dog Cafe" in Brantford...

“…but places are full of mystery as times are, and almost from the start I knew that, of all places, it was the one that was right for me.”
~Frederick Buechner

The Matrix and Some Thoughts...

To see the connections, to make the connections. to create the connections...to perceive reality, to know the Matrix...

A friend told me recently to not be decieved or swayed by what is perceived on the surface, beauty beheld and yet not true, only the heart, "...the organ of fire..." as Michael Ondantje described it, is the dispenser of beauty and truth. Who we are in our essence.

Just as Neo is distracted by the woman in the red dress, we all are. We all have our "women in red dresses" - albeit they appear differently for all of us. We each know what they are - our demons, our giants, our fears, our doubts, our shame, our pain, our secrets...what comes to us before we fall asleep at night, what wakes us in a cold sweat, what we can't forget or let go of, what pulls or turns us...what it is that can "...steal,kill and destroy..." the abundant life from us and harden our hearts.

Divine Milieu...Townes Van Zandt - To Live Is To Fly...A Song That Says It All...Hmmmmm....

Won't say I love you, babe,
won't say I need you, babe,
but I'm gonna get you babe
and I will not do you wrong.
Living's mostly wasting time
and I'll waste my share of mine
but it never feels to good,
so let's don't take to long.
You're soft as glass
and I'm a gentle man;
we got the sky to talk about
and the earth to lie upon.

Days, up and down they come
like rain on a congadrum
forget most, remember some
but don't turn none away.
Everything is not enough
and nothin' is to much to bear.
Where you been is good and gone
all you keep is the getting there.

To live is to fly
Low and high,
so shake the dust off of your wings
and the sleep out of your eyes.

Goodbye to all my friends
it's time to go again
think of all the poetry
and the pickin' down the line
I'll miss the system here
the bottom's low
and the treble's clear
But it don't pay to think to much
on things you leave behind.
I will be gone
but it won't be long
I will be a'bringin' back the melodies
and rhythm that I find.

We all got holes to fill
them holes are all that's real.
Some fall on you like a storm,
sometimes you dig your own.
The choice is yours to make,
time is yours to take;
some sail upon/dive into the sea,
some toil upon the stone.

To live is to fly
Low and high,
so shake the dust off of your wings
and the sleep out of your eyes;

Shake the dust off of your wings
and the tears out of your eyes.

Thinking About Catherine in Madrid....

If I needed you would you come to me,
Would you come to me, and ease my pain?
If you needed me,
I would come to you,
I'd swim the seas for to ease your pain...

In the night forlorn the morning's born,
And the morning shines with the lights of love,
You will miss sunrise if you close your eyes,
That would break my heart in two...

The lady's with me now since I showed her how,
To lay her lily hand in mine,
Loop and Lil agree she's a sight to see,
And a treasure for the poor to find...

Thoughts...

I was in a bar reading Frederick Buechner and this question comes to me - did God know fully what it was he created in humans when he created us or not until God in Jesus experienced being human and then knew? And conversely do we not know God fully until we are fully human through Jesus? It is in, on, upon, through Jesus that all is known and knowable. It is as if everything - both human and divine are not known until passed in some way through or by Jesus - he is the meaning and defining point of all reality.
Hmmm....

Bruce Springsteen Thought...

"In my dream our love was lost, I lived by luck and fate,
I carried you inside of me, prayed it wouldn't be too late,
Now I'm standin' on this empty road where nothin' moves but the wind..."

~ Bruce Springsteen

Divine Milieu...Bruce Springsteen - Back In Your Arms...Hmmm...For...

Once I was your treasure and I saw your face in every star
But the promises we make at night, oh that's all they are
Unless we fill them with faith and love they're empty as the howlin' wind
And honey I just wanna be back in your arms
Back in your arms again

You came to me with love and kindness
But all my life I've been a prisoner of my own blindness
I met you with indifference and I don't know why
Now I wake from my dream, I wake from my dream to this world
Where all is shadow and darkness and above me a dark sky unfurls
And all the love I've thrown away and lost I'm longin' for again
Now darlin' I just wanna be back in your arms
Back in your arms again

Grace in Poetic Memories...For Victoria...