"The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry."
~ Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell To Arms



"Our lives disconnect and reconnect, we move on, and later we may touch one another, again bounce away. This is the felt shape of a human life, neither simply linear nor wholly disjunctive nor endlessly bifurcating, but rather this bouncey sequence of bumping into's and tumblings apart."
~ Salman Rushdie, The Ground Beneath Her Feet



Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Storm...

“All things truly wicked start from an innocence. So you live day to day and enjoy what you have and do not worry. You lie and hate it and it destroys you and every day is more dangerous. But you live day to day as in a war.”
~ Ernest Hemingway



“People who fail to do it right, by even their own definition of right, are those who often break through to enlightenment & compassion.”
~ Richard Rohr

Certain people enter your life as a storm and a storm is exactly what you needed at the time they entered. To others (those on the outside, peering in, judging) the storm looks perverse, immoral, insubstantial. But, the reality is that the one, the other creating the storm is the most needed, most worthy one in your life at that precise moment. And, you become more alive, more vibrant because of the storm.



Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Sleep...


I sleep to be alone, even if someone is next to me in bed. I close my eyes and fall into a place of peace and solitude.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

KLN...

Love Is Heavy Sometimes...

Our own "Shawshank's"...

"Get busy living or get busy dying."
~ The Shawshank Redemption



"It's hard to fight an enemy who has outposts in your head."
~ Sally Kempton




We all are in some way or another within our own Shawshank’s; we become prisoners to our fear of the unknown and love of the known. As such within our epistemological paradigm we are locked within our minds capacity for comprehension of reality.
Think of it this way - as an Inuit who was born and lived her whole life in the arctic cold, spending winters in an igloo just as her parents and grandparents had done before her. Her reality is that which she knows from what she has experienced around her and has been told. She is unaware that if she would walk south there is warmth and difference unlike anything she experienced and yet there is an epistemological leap that must be taken.
Yet, how does one know that there is even a leap to be taken? When does the inquisitiveness to question even begin or where does it come from?
Is it an inherent distinctiveness of nature in some to journey, to be restless, to need to move beyond where they are?
Perhaps, that inkling or spark or beam of light shining through even so dimly the cracks of our prisons is enough to prod one to move, to think there is a way out of where one finds oneself?
The fear of the unknown, the uncertainty inherently involved in any journey is more than enough to keep most in the comfortable unease of their personal Shawshank. A time of disruption or crisis may be the only way that one can garner enough resolve to move beyond, to fashion a means of escape from the prison one is in.
It is only when on the other side, free, does one fully grasp where it is one has been and come from. Then the warmth, beauty and tranquility of a hard fought freedom can one find peace.

Thursday, December 1, 2011

A Storm That Brings Clarity....

"Looking hard into your eyes
There was nobody I'd ever known
Such an empty surprise to feel so alone

Now for me some words come easy
But I know that they don't mean that much
Compared with the things that are said when lovers touch
You never knew what I loved in you
I don't know what you loved in me
Maybe the picture of somebody you were hoping I might be..."


"How long have I been sleeping
How long have I been drifting alone through the night
How long have I been dreaming I could make it right
If I closed my eyes and tried with all my might
To be the one you need

Awake again I can't pretend and I know I'm alone
And close to the end of the feeling we've known..."



“All actual life is encounter.” ~ Martin Buber

"Where there is ruin, there is hope for treasure." ~ Rumi

She seemed so raw and so real, a woman of fiery mystical intelligence and crazed beauty. Her eyes stunned and pierced my soul while she silently listened to my story and absorbed with her body some of my pain. She didn’t try to fix or suggest, no "you should do this or that," she just sat with me, talked with me, held my hand, kissed me, and was present with and for me; as refreshing as an early spring rain.

Her being brought a storm into my life - a brief, furious, sweeping storm that ravaged and churned all that it touched. Full of lightening, thunder, rain, wind and then the calm tranquil peace of contentment and sleep. She asked a question that no one had asked before, a question that remains etched in my mind and the questions itself reveals all that she is, “would you rather me know you by reading what you have written or by being with you?” It is a question that pleads for connection and relationship, for being and experiencing of life together.

Then she vanished as quickly as she had come. An ethereal wisp of presence, an eff of the ineffable both an angel and a devil vanishing into the night leaving her spirit to both haunt and comfort my loneliness and discontent. She set me on a course, a direction, yet without a destination. The journey continues and all journeys are risks.


"Sometimes touching another person is more than I can bear." ~ Walt Whitman