"The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry." ~ Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell To Arms
"Our lives disconnect and reconnect, we move on, and later we may touch one another, again bounce away. This is the felt shape of a human life, neither simply linear nor wholly disjunctive nor endlessly bifurcating, but rather this bouncey sequence of bumping into's and tumblings apart."
~ Salman Rushdie, The Ground Beneath Her Feet
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
One Word
(Say Something - A Great Big World & Christina Aguilera)
I am looking for answers I am afraid to find
To questions I am afraid to ask
Searching for an explanation
Searching for one word
Yes...one word
One word to explain everything
One word to bring clarity
Is your name the one word
Is your mothers name the one word
Is the word
Is any word
Merely a mask
A veil of letters
I am running now after nothing
Into the night that ends
And begins and ends and begins
Yes...into it I run
Flailing my arms
Lungs burning
Mind racing
One word
Where is it
Where are you
Leaving always leaving
People leave like trains or planes
Your heart expands for a lover
Expands and contracts
You bleed for her love
You search for one word to make her stay
One word again
The bloody evasive one word
There is no word to make anyone stay
So she goes
And the wind blows
Through leafless trees
Creaking in its laughter
The word is in a rain drop
But which one
There are so many rain drops
No way to look into them all
Will you help
Oh...you are gone already
I sit alone
In the forest
In the city
On a street corner
On a log by a stream
Scenery changes
But not I
I was searching
While your hand slipped out of mine
Before I could kiss you
Before I could make love to you
Maybe in making love
The word
The one word
Would be uttered
A sacred word
A tantric word
To free spirits in the night
Trapped in their own freedom
Not free
Never free
For the word is never spoken
Not even between lovers
Masquerading as truth
Lust lifts lost souls out of the mire
Only to be lost again
And again and again
This is no noble quest
This is a fantasy in search of meaning
In search of a word
In search of an interpreter
A sanguine metaphor
Folly and vanity
Vanity and folly
We pretend and act and parade
We play house and then betray ourselves
Leaving our damaged images behind
Collateral damage of our insatiable passions
To wonder why
To wonder how
To search for the one word
The one word
To make sense of their fractured lives
So where are you
So far from me
So distant
In the past and forgotten
A dream from two nights ago
A dream I forgot
As soon as I woke up
The sun bleaching my memory
No artifact
No fossil
No fragment of our time
The moments stretched into years
Forgotten in a garbage dump of fears
A wasteland of consequence
An aborted rendezvous
What word could have I sputtered
What word
What word
What one word
If I screamed it
Whispered it
Wrote it
Sang it
No
No word stands against vile actions
Recriminations and resentments stacked and counted before bed
Kindling for fire fights
Napalm induced rage
Scorching our bodies
I want you to stay my love
My new love
The love I am afraid of
(I am afraid of any love now)
The scars healed over
The scabs no longer picked at
Calloused and cold are my veins
I barely feel myself anymore
I am numb
I am drowning in myself
Suffocating on the very elixirs which are to make me okay
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