Tonight, well…late tonight, as I really don’t sleep anymore unless I take a couple hundred milligrams of Trazadone I accidently (if anything is really an accident) came across this video clip with scenes from the Matrix.
What so obviously stood out to me is the song that accompanied the scenes from the movie – the song by Bryan Adams, “Everything I Do, I Do It For You.” Why did this stand out to me? Well…it was my wife’s and my song for our first dance at our wedding; our theme, our song - the words that were to go along with our love, our day.
Now I doubt our love. I doubt the words that were to be our words. I doubt that I was ever loved the way Trinity loved Neo, the way in which Trinity believed in Neo.
Is love and belief and trust like that even a possibility? Or, is it merely a myth? A fantasy, a pie in the sky dream of a fool hearted phony, a sappy, emotional creeps like me?
Perhaps? I really don’t know - at least not yet.
As I wrote in my 2010 Reflections:
http://acograce.blogspot.com/2010/12/2010reflections-listeningto-my-life.html - I am still in search of Trinity’s kiss…and the journey goes on…
And still, I am haunted by memories, by a face; by a person that yes I still love…
Earlier tonight I wrote this and maybe these words are what spurned me onto these thought, this direction with my heart?
This is what I wrote:
Is it wrong, unnatural, or whatever…that I still really miss Patti? Does she or how can she not miss me? Why do I feel this? Why?
I know that these are mere words, and I suppose sappy words at that, that mean nothing. Still, they are how I feel, and represent what is going on inside of me as the day of our anniversary approaches, the anniversary of the day I married the woman that I believed that I would grow old with…
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