"The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry."
~ Ernest Hemingway, A Farewell To Arms



"Our lives disconnect and reconnect, we move on, and later we may touch one another, again bounce away. This is the felt shape of a human life, neither simply linear nor wholly disjunctive nor endlessly bifurcating, but rather this bouncey sequence of bumping into's and tumblings apart."
~ Salman Rushdie, The Ground Beneath Her Feet



Wednesday, July 18, 2012

The Last Turn...

Darkness floods my light
Water drowns my life
Memories haunt my mind
Open wounds fester
Putrid smell of rotting flesh
I dissolve into ugliness
Tormented heart with demon worms
Infesting and burrowing deep
I ache with each labored breath
A beast chained to the wall of doubt
Death on my back
I acquiesce
I surrender
Turning to face my lot
I have crossed the Rubicon
The lashes of time mark my flesh
Blood of compassion drips to the ground
I look up and see a woman in the crowd
Her blues eyes catch mine
She glances and turns away quickly
From:
My spilt blood
My confessed love
My broken body
My salt stained face
My out stretched hand
My fidelity
My vow
My life…
All mean nothing to the harlot
Who spreads her legs for the world to enter
While in her bed a dagger cuts
Pierces deep to the heart of desire
She steals life
Her scent is Hades
Her arms Leviathan
Her breath betrayal
Cursed I am for touching her
In her turning away from my suffering
Her poison burns in my veins
She
Pauses
Turns her head
Smiles
Whispers the words
“It is all you fault – you are a horrible man…everything that happened is because of you.”

I crumble
At the last turn of the dagger



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1 comment:

  1. AnonymousJuly 19, 2012 at 5:49 AM

    Forgiveness is a tough thing....both in the offering....& the accepting.
    You have to let her go, she's not coming back,the distance is too great. You have been hurt,I imagine we all have & I think somewhere in that pain we convince ourselves that if we don't open up & love again we don't have to hurt again. What do you do with a love like you have. Someone out there wants a love like this, if it is real, if a heart like yours exists and can be offered to another, it must. There is an ending to your story that has not been told, one not etched in pain, recorded in regret, echoing through eternity. That despite yourself, love will snatch you back, broken people just need piecing back together. Someone comes along who mends a tattered edge or returns a lost piece. The process is tedious, painful and there are no short cuts. Anything that promises to be one is not. But somehow we walk away from the wreckage of the past, whole sections start taking shape, something vague we see out of the corner of our eye. We put one foot in front of the other. Maybe it is okay the mess you call yourself is in process. Maybe a new love is bigger that the mess. Finally the pieces of you are melting into one again.You were once a complete whole, a clear picture. A single piece. Then something happened to crack & shatter you. Leaving you disconnected, torn & splintered. Some of us lie in a hundred pieces. Some ten thousand. Some are edged with sharp contrast. Some dim shades of gray. Some find they are missing pieces,some find they have too many. In any case, we ae left thinking & shaking our heads that it can't be done....a new love. We can't spend the rest of our lives trying to put that stained glass back together, it won't go. There is nothing to hold the pieces together. Life is complicated? Welcome to Earth, everything here is complicated.
    LSD...long-slow-distance, where miles don't matter, only time. And in reverse, the slower the better. We must look at this as a small interruption in our lives----take courage move on, put one foot in front of the other, a new love awaits you.

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