Sanctury Before the Wedding.jpg

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Divine Milieu...U2 - Magnificent....

I was born
I was born to be with you
In this space and time
After that and ever after I haven't had a clue
Only to break rhyme
This foolishness can leave a heart black and blue

Only love, only love can leave such a mark

But only love, only love can heal such a scar


I was born
I was born to sing for you
I didn't have a choice but to lift you up
And sing whatever song you wanted me to
I give you back my voice
From the womb my first cry, it was a joyful noise ...

Only love, only love can leave such a mark
But only love, only love can heal such a scar


Justified till we die, you and I will magnify
The Magnificent
Magnificent


Only love, only love can leave such a mark
But only love, only love unites our hearts



Justified till we die, you and I will magnify
The Magnificent

Magnificent
Magnificent


Divine Milieu...U2 - Breathe...For My Friends That Are Helping Me To Breathe Again...

The roar that lies on the other side of silence
The forest fire that is fear so deny it
Walk out into the street Sing your heart out
The people we meet Will not be drowned out
There's nothing you have that I need I can breathe
Breathe now Yeah, yeah
We are people borne of sound
The songs are in our eyes
Gonna wear them like a crown
Walk out, into the sunburst street
Sing your heart out, sing my heart out
I've found grace inside a sound
I found grace, it's all that I found
And I can breathe
Breathe now

A Thought From Jon...

Life is short so drink your beer and be merry.
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Brennan Manning on The Second Journey….

“However it happens, such people feel confused and even lost. They can no longer keep life in working order. They are dragged away from chosen and cherished patterns to face strange crises. This is their second journey….

Second journey’s usually end quietly with a new wisdom and a coming to a true sense of self that releases great power. The wisdom is that of an adult who has regained equilibrium, stabilized, and found fresh purpose and new dreams. It is a wisdom that gives some things up, lets some things die, and accepts human limitations. It is a wisdom that realizes: I cannot expect anyone to understand me fully….

The second journey begins when we know we cannot live the afternoon of life according to the morning program….that awareness illumines for us what really matters, what really counts….

The second call invites us to a serious reflection on the nature and quality of our faith in the gospel of grace, our hope in the new and not yet, and our love for God and people. The second call is a summons to a deeper, more mature commitment of faith where the naïveté, the first fervor, and untested idealism of the morning, and the first commitment have been seasoned with pain, rejection, failure, loneliness and self-knowledge….

This is what the second call of Jesus means today: a summons to a new and more radical leap in hope, to an existential commitment to the Good News of the wedding feast….we must love and, even more, we must run the risk of being loved….

There is no growth in Christ Jesus without some difficulty and fumbling. If we are going to keep on growing, we must keep on risking failure throughout our lives….

This is what the world wants from our rhetoric, what the man or woman of God longs for in a shepherd – someone daring enough to be different, humble enough to make mistakes, wild enough to be burned in the fire of love, real enough to make others see how phony we are.”

Grace…The Union of Beauty and Experience….

Experience:

Existence of experience = ontological
Knowledge of experience = epistemological

“Existential Being”

“Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn.”
- C.S. Lewis






Beauty:

Existence of Beauty = ontological
Knowledge of Beauty = epistemological

“Existential Wonder”

“Oh beauty so old and so new! To late have I loved thee.”
-Augustine

Beauty and experience create a space for grace to enter a life – your life and my life. A space for the union of our being and our wonder to be one so that we can taste and feel and know these moments even these brief moments of time in our hearts – as the ineffable, the divine.

Whether we know it or not, whether we acknowledge it or not, we become “…now and then….here and there…” as Paul Tillich described it, “…a new creation on earth…” for after this we are not the same. This may cause some ache, some angst to want more of this, and it may become acute and what Kierkegaard explained as a “leap of faith” may be necessary even with all the “fear and trembling” that is involved in such a “leap.” To know what is true involves risk.

Grace In The Impossible....

Jesus replied, "What is impossible with human beings is possible with God." Peter said to him, "We have left all we had to follow you!" "Truly I tell you," Jesus said to them, "no one who has left home or wife or brothers or sisters or parents or children for the sake of the kingdom of God will fail to receive many times as much in this age, and in the age to come eternal life."
- Luke 18:27-30

Grace In Not Worrying....

Then Jesus said to his disciples: "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or about your body, what you will wear. Life is more than food, and the body more than clothes. Consider the ravens: They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them. And how much more valuable you are than birds! Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life? Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest? "Consider how the wild flowers grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you, not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you—you of little faith! And do not set your heart on what you will eat or drink; do not worry about it. For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well. "Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will never fail, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
- Luke 12:22-34

Grace In Your Idenity...

Jesus turned and said to Peter, "Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns." Then Jesus said to his disciples, "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. What good will it be for you to gain the whole world, yet forfeit your soul? Or what can you give in exchange for your soul?
-Matthew 16:23-26

Jesus' Voice...

“These are my love wounds, my love wounds for you. I love you Chris. Everything is o.k. – everything is going to be o.k.”
-Jesus

“My grace is coming…”
- Jesus

“Beware of affection I was betrayed with a kiss, I will do a miracle through you.”
- Jesus

“My hand is upon you, come, follow me, I love you, it is o.k.”
-Jesus

Thoughts...

“God saw all that he had made, and it was very good.”
- Genesis 1:31a

“And a voice came from heaven: ‘You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.’”
- Mark 1:11

“Am I now trying to win human approval, or God's approval? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
-Galatians 1:10

“He has made everything beautiful in its time.”
-Ecclesiastes 3:11a

“But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.”
- 2 Corinthians 3:16-18


“For God, who said, ‘Let light shine out of darkness,’ made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God's glory displayed in the face of Christ. But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body.”
- 2 Corinthians 4:5-10

Divien Milieu...Hillsong - Mighty To Save...Can't Get This Song Out of My Head...

Everyone needs compassion,
Love that's never failing;
Let mercy fall on me.

Everyone needs forgiveness,
The kindness of a Savior;
The Hope of nations.

Savior, He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.

Forever, Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave.

So take me as You find me,
All my fears and failures,
Fill my life again.

I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in,
Now I surrender.

My Savior, He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save,
He is Mighty to save.
Forever, Author of salvation,
He rose and conquered the grave,
Jesus conquered the grave.

Shine your light and let the whole world see,
We're singing for the glory of the risen King...

Catherine and Bono…Feeling and Love…

I wrote Catherine an e-mail and explained how awful I was feeling a couple of nights ago because of a message I received and how horribly it affected me. Her response back to me made me smile and encouraged me to press on in this life, if for no other reason than to receive e-mails from Madrid that make me smile. She is helping me have smile lines on my face. I had written that I no longer wanted to feel and this is what she wrote back to me:

“Feeling is what makes you real,
Feeling is Jesus living through you,
Feeling is what makes you alive,
Feeling is responding to life,
Hurt is not the only feeling you would be giving up,
You'd give up the feeling of being with a friend,
Smiling,
Having your heart skip a beat,

You might as well throw out music with it – you cannot listen without feeling.

Stick with people who bring the best out of you. Avoid the people that bring you down!”

In Catherine’s first novel, A Heart of Loss she wrote, “…what I miss the most is that which I want the most…” and this is how I have been feeling. The ache, the pain of not being present in the place or with the one you most want to be with is the hurt that most tries you. Even if you are not sure who or where or what that person or place is. I am wondering when doing nothing is really doing something, perhaps the most important thing. To be, to rest, to have peace, contentment in the moment, the now…and know, really know that to do nothing is enough in the end.

“…Love makes strange enemies
Makes love where love may please
The soul and its striptease
Hate brought to its knees
The sky over our head
We can reach it from our bed
You let me in your heart
And out of my head, head...”
- Bono

Thoughts on Beauty...St. Augustine

“Beauty is indeed a good gift of God; but that the good may not think it a great good, God dispenses it even to the wicked.”

“Love is the beauty of the soul.”

-Saint Augustine

Thought...

“Kierkegaard's point is that no matter how rigorous your logical system, there will always be gaps. As these gaps are logical gaps, it is futile to try and bridge them. Instead, they can only be breached by a leap of faith. What characterizes a leap of faith is the absolute uncertainty that underlies it. Faith is by definition that which cannot be proven or disproved. That is why a leap of faith is undertaken in 'fear and trembling".”

- Jiou Lee-Yang. THE PHILOSOPHERS’ MAGAZINE. FEBRUARY 24, 2010. HTTP://WWW.PHILOSOPHERSNET.COM

I’m a Backslider! » Blog » Greg Boyd (Christus Victor Ministries)

I’m a Backslider! » Blog » Greg Boyd (Christus Victor Ministries)

Divine Milieu...U2 with Mary J. Blidge - One....

Is it getting better, or do you feel the same?
Will it make it easier on you, now you got someone to blame?
You say one love, one life, when it's one need in the night.
One love, we get to share it
Leaves you baby if you don't care for it...

Divine Milieu...Sarah McLachlan - Answer...For All My Friends...

I will be the answer
At the end of the line
I will be there for you
While you take the time
In the burning of uncertainty
I will be your solid ground
I will hold the balance
If you can't look down

If it takes my whole life
I won't break, I won't bend
It will all be worth it
Worth it in the end
Cause I can only tell you what I know
That I need you in my life
When the stars have all gone out
You'll still be burning so bright

Cast me gently
Into morning
For the night has been unkind
Take me to a
Place so holy
That I can wash this from my mind
The memory of choosing not to fight

If it takes my whole life
I won't break, I won't bend
It will all be worth it
Worth it in the end
'Cause I can only tell you what I know
That I need you in my life
When the stars have all burned out
You'll still be burning so bright

Cast me gently
Into morning
For the night has been unkind

Divine Milieu...Sarah McLachlan - Ordinary Miracle...Thanks Carol...

“Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”
- Lamentations 3:21-23

It's not that unusual when everything is beautiful
It's just another ordinary miracle today
The sky knows when it's time to snow
Don't need to teach a seed to grow
It's just another ordinary miracle today

Life is like a gift they say, wrapped up for you everyday
Open up and find a way to give some of your own

Isn't it remarkable like every time a raindrop falls
It's just another ordinary miracle today
Birds and winter have their fling but always make it home by spring
It's just another ordinary miracle today

When you wake up every day please don't throw your dreams away
Hold them close to your heart cause we are all a part of the ordinary miracle
Ordinary miracle, do you wanna see a miracle?

It seems so exceptional that things just work out after all
It's just another ordinary miracle today
The sun comes up and shines so bright and disappears again at night
It's just another ordinary miracle today.

An Empty Cup and An Empty Page...

The cup is empty tonight. I am empty tonight. I don’t even know what to write…am I to blame for it all? Am I really so horrible? Is the path I have chosen empty and desolate? Am I a hypocrite, playing some fiction, messing with reality to make myself feel better – is all what I believed simply a grand illusion, a detour into desperation?

Has taking the “red pill” been worth all the pain, is seeing “how deep the rabbit hole goes” really worth all of the suffering? When does the existential angst dissipate? The doubts evaporate and the questioning cease? The “why” answered?

What is the truth? What is real? What is love? Why does any of it really matter anyway? It is all just so fucked up!

Sorry, that there isn’t much grace here tonight, but I did say that the cup is empty. I am merely being honest. I am angry, I am frustrated, and I am tired, I am worn out. Life is too difficult and too hard at times, in moments like this…so I am being real. I really believe that God is more into honesty and he can handle all our crap and knows us and what we are. David knew that, look at the psalms! Being human is messy!

Tonight, I wish I was in a room with my best old friends and my best new friends, laughing and crying and drinking a lot – to be with wonderful people that I cherish and that cherish me simply because of who we are – not for what we do or any pretense of anything. Together because we care and love each other and are honest about life and we trust each other to be all these things. There is grace in that – there is life in that. I love my friends and family “that are as good as spring itself” – I wish some of you were with me right now.

As one dear friend told me over and over this summer, “the sun will rise, and you never know what will happen” – the only thing is that, the sunrise seems a long way off at times…

Thoughts...Buechner and Kristofferson...

“Literature, painting, music – the most basic lesson that all art teaches us is to stop, look, and listen to life on this planet, including our own lives, as a vastly richer, deeper, more mysterious business than most of the time it ever occurs to us to suspect as we bumble along from day to day on automatic pilot. In a world that for the most part steers clear of the whole idea of holiness, art is one of the few places left where we can speak to each other of holy things.”
-Frederick Buechner

“…And he keeps right on a'changin' for the better or the worse,
Searchin' for a shrine he's never found
Never knowin' if believin' is a blessin' or a curse,
Or if the goin' up was worth the comin' down

Runnin' from his devils, Lord, and reachin' for the stars,
And losin' all he's loved along the way
But if this world keeps right on turnin' for the better or the worse,
And all he ever gets is older and around
From the rockin' of the cradle to the rollin' of the hearse,
The goin' up was worth the comin' down

He's a poet, he's a picker
He's a prophet, he's a pusher
He's a pilgrim and a preacher, and a problem when he's stoned
He's a walkin' contradiction, partly truth and partly fiction,
Takin' ev'ry wrong direction on his lonely way back home.
There's a lotta wrong directions on that lonely way back home.”
- Kris Kristofferson

My Cup of Grace Today....jpg

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Thought...

"In sum, pay attention to the world and all that dwells therein and thereby learn at last to pay attention to yourself and all that dwells therein."
- Buechner
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A Note from Catherine...In Madrid...

While having a drink this evening at Chicote's bar I was thinking of Picasso and Cervantes and these thoughts occured to me:

Do we all not feel at times a bit quixotic, a lttle too much like Don Quixote,suffering from delusions of grandeur in one way or another. And like Cervantes we sigh and think, "En un lugar de la Mancha, de cuyo nombre no quiero acordarme, no ha mucho tiempo que vivía un hidalgo de los de lanza en astillero, adarga antigua, rocín flaco y galgo corredor." This we want to believe is real, that this man exists - this man, "...whose name I do not care to recall...." That we exist,and are as real as the "ferocious giants" that Don Quixote see's and then we awake and realize that they are but windmills.

We resign at times and enter into our seasons of melancholy as dreams of quests fade into the recesses of our minds...we mutter of adventures yet we feel more familiarity with Wittgenstein and think, "Wovon man nicht sprechen kann, darüber muß man schweigen."

Divine Milieu...Van Gogh - Starry Night...For Catherine and Mary,"...vocatus atque non vocatus Deus aderit..."

Face Of The Day - The Daily Dish | By Andrew Sullivan

Face Of The Day - The Daily Dish | By Andrew Sullivan

Divine Milieu...U2 - Desire...

"...She's the dollars
She's my protection
Yeah, she's the promise
In the year of election.
Sister I can't let you go
Like a preacher stealin' hearts at a travellin' show
For love or money, money, money... ?
And the fever, gettin' higher.
Desire..."

Divine Milieu...Pink Floyd - Time...

Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
Fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way

Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain
And you are young and life is long and there is time to kill today
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun

And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but it's sinking
Racing around to come up behind you again
The sun is the same in a relative way, but you're older
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death

Every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way
The time is gone, the song is over, thought I'd something more to say

Home, home again
I like to be here when I can
And when I come home cold and tired
It’s good to warm my bones beside the fire
Far away across the field
The tolling of the iron bell
Calls the faithful to their knees
To hear the softly spoken magic spells.

More Ash Wednesday Thoughts...

Does God exist because there is grace or does grace exist because there is a God? Grace as all that is beuatiful in life, that touches you as a human being, your heart, that charms you, makes you feel alive, gives a purpose to the moments of each day. A purpose even in the mundane and in the boredom of living. Grace I believe is what makes everything beautiful for it transforms and creates and lingers in the profoundness of existence. Grace is no respector of persons or beliefs or anything actually - grace is open and free to everyone...we merely have to awaken to it, out of our sleep and begin seeing it in our lives. Grace is a friend on the journey of life whether you believe in God or not, grace does not go away or hide from you...grace is always there.

Some other thoughts:

“... Because I know that time is always time
And place is always and only place
And what is actual is actual only for one time
And only for one place
I rejoice that things are as they are ...”
-T.S. Eliot

“Jesus had a kind of differentness that drew people to him. True spirituality is that way.”
-John Ortberg

“The life I touch for good or ill will touch another life, and that in turn another, until who knows where the trembling stops or in what far place my touch will be felt.”
-Frederick Buechner


"There has never been another day like today, and there will never be another just like it again"
~Frederick Buechner.


Note: thanks to Andrew Sullivan's "The Daily Dish" again for the cross imgae and the T.S. Eliot quote.

Ash Wednesday Thought....

Here are some thoughts for Ash Wednesday - I read this on Andrew Sullivan's blog the "Daily Dish" and thought I would replicate it here as I enjoyed reading it.

"There is no deeper pathos in the spiritual life of man than the cruelty of righteous people. If any one idea dominates the teachings of Jesus, it is his opposition to the self-righteousness of the righteous. The parable spoken unto "certain which trusted in themselves that they are righteous, and despised others" made the most morally disciplined group of the day, his Pharisees, the object of his criticism. In fact, Jesus seems to have been in perpetual conflict with the good people of his day and ironically justified his consorting with the bad people by the remark that not those who are whole, but those who are sick, are in need of a physician...

The criticism which Jesus levelled at good people had both a religious and moral connotation. They were proud in the sight of God and they were merciless and unforgiving to their fellow-men. Their pride is the basis of their lack of mercy. The unmerciful servant, in Jesus' parable is unforgiving to his fellow-servant in spite of the mercy which he had received from his master.

Forgiving love is a possibility only for those who know that they are not good, who feel themselves in need of a divine mercy, who live in a dimension deeper and higher than that of moral idealism, feel themselves as well as their fellow men convicted of sin by a holy God and know that the difference between the good man and the bad man are insignificant in his sight. St. Paul expresses the logic of this religious feeling in the words:

"With me it is a very small thing that I should be judged of your or of man's judgment: yea, I judge not mine own self. For I know nothing by myself; yet am I not thereby justified: but he that judgeth me is the Lord."

When life is lived in this dimension the chasms which divide men are bridged not directly, not by resolving the conflicts on the historical levels, but by the sense of an ultimate unity in, and common dependence upon, the realm of transcendence.

For this reason the the religious ideal of forgiveness is more profound and more difficult than the rational virtue of tolerance,"

- Reinhold Niebuhr, An Interpretation of Christian Ethics, ch. 8, "Love as Forgiveness".

Divine Milieu...Pink Floyd - Coming Back To Life...For Mary...

"...I took a heavenly ride through our silence
I knew the moment had arrived
For killing the past and coming back to life

I took a heavenly ride through our silence
I knew the waiting had begun
And headed straight…into the shining sun..."

For some reason (unknown to me) the title of this Pink Floyd song kept rolling around in my head, "Coming Back To Life" - maybe becasue at times I am getting fleeting glimpses of what "Coming Back To Life" is, or feels like? Not sure. The lines above made me think of my friend Mary back in Canada and myself the last few days in particular. Great song, it is speaking to me tonight - I hope that it releases something in you as well that lets you become aware that,"...the moment had arrived, for killing the past and coming back to life..."

Here are all the lyrics:

Where were you when I was burned and broken
While the days slipped by from my window watching
Where were you when I was hurt and helpless
Because the things you say and the things you do surround me
While you were hanging yourself on someone else's words
Dying to believe in what you heard
I was staring straight into the shining sun

Lost in thought and lost in time
While the seeds of lifeand the seeds of change were planted
Outside the rain fell dark and slow
While I pondered on this dangerous but irresistible pastime
I took a heavenly ride through our silence
I knew the moment had arrived
For killing the past and coming back to life

I took a heavenly ride through our silence
I knew the waiting had begun
And headed straight…into the shining sun

Thought...From Bono...Back To The Psalms...

"For me it's in the despair that the psalmist really reveals the nature of his special relationship with God. Honesty, even to the point of anger."
-Bono

The other day when I wrote on here about the Psalms and quoted Psalm 142, two people commented on my thoughts with these two references from the Psalms:

"Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts."
-Psalm 139:23


"In the morning, LORD, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly."
-Psalm 5:3

Divine Milieu...U2 - Window In The Skies...

"The shackles are undone
The bullets quit the gun
The heat that's in the sun
Will keep us when there's none
The rule has been disproved
The stone it has been moved
The grave is now a groove
All debts are removed

Oh can't you see what love has done?
Oh can't you see what love has done?
Oh can't you see what love has done?
What it's done to me?

Love makes strange enemies
Makes love where love may please
The soul and its striptease
Hate brought to its knees
The sky over our head
We can reach it from our bed
You let me in your heart
And out of my head, head....

I know I hurt you and I made you cry
Did everything but murder you and I
But love left a window in the skies
And to love I rhapsodize
To every broken heart
For every heart that cries
Love left a window in the skies
And to love I rhapsodize..."

Thought...

Kathleen sent me this last night...something from Ralph Waldo Emerson,

"Every wall is a door"

I really liked this - no matter how difficult or impossible whatever you are facing may appear there is a way out, a door...

Divine Milieu...U2 - If God Would Send His Angels...

"....So where is the hope and
Where is the faith and the love?
What's that you say to me
Does love light up your Christmas tree?
The next minute you're blowing a fuse
And the cartoon network turns into the news.

If God will send his angels
And if God will send a sign
Well if God will send his angels
Where do we go?
Where do we go?

Jesus never let me down
You know Jesus used to show me the score.
Then they put Jesus in show business
Now it's hard to get in the door.

It's the stuff, it's the stuff of country songs
But I guess it was something to go on.
Hey, if God will send his angels
I sure could use them here right now
Well, if God will send his angels...

Where do we go?
Where do we go?"

Why?

This evening I listened to a talk that Don Miller gave a Harvard University called the “Journey Back To Faith” and during his talk he encouraged the students at Harvard to ask the “why” questions and not the “how” questions in life. This got me thinking that I have been the kind of person for as long as I can remember that has asked the “why” questions.

And then I thought maybe the thing (the problem??) with me is that I ask the “why” of life too often and the “how” very seldom? Then again maybe this is a good thing and maybe I have been listening to the wrong voices for too long and they had begun to wear me down, suck the life out of me. Socrates did say that the unexamined life is not worth living…

Then I remembered a series of “why” questions that I wrote out a long, long time ago. Twenty one years ago actually and I think they are all still valid – they were hand written on yellow legal pad pages and luckily I had them with me tonight in a Rubbermaid container of stuff I have been carrying around with me on this nomadic existence of mine. Anyway, here are the questions I was pondering (twenty one years ago)…if anyone wants to respond or answer them send me an e-mail with your thoughts to cgfletch@yahoo.com.

Questions I wrote on September 22, 1988:

Why do I always know the right things to do or say when it is too late?

Why am I attracted to people that I can’t help but care about and can see what is going to happen to them but I am useless to stop or change anything?

Why do I wonder if people I have been close to remember me and really know how I care for them?

Why do good things (relationships) have to end?

Why am I destined to live so far away from those I care about?

Why can’t I communicate how I feel?

Why is it so hard to say “I love you”?

Why are people the way they are?

Why is it others can’t feel or read what I am feeling but I can feel or read what they are feeling?

Why am I attracted to the sea and the mountains?

Why are history, memories, friends, places, and sunrises important?

Why do I wonder if people really mean it when they say, “I’ll be thinking about you”?

Why do I wonder if people say hello or goodbye to someone else when you ask them to?

Why are we so scared when there is nothing there?

Why is life a series of hello’s and goodbyes?

Why is it when I say goodbye to best friends it seems as if it is forever?

Why do people ask the same stupid questions?

Why can’t I spend time gallivanting around the world with just a pack on my back?

Why don’t people ask for help when they need it?

Why don’t people cry and ask to be held when they need both?

Why is it so hard to trust?

Why do we wonder when someday will be today?

Why is it why can never adequately be answered?

Why is it that goodbyes so difficult and hello’s so awkward?

Why do we wonder about when it is we will grow up?

Why is it when you loose a little star thing do not turn out the way you want them to?

Why is it why can never adequately be answered?

Divine Milieu...Brandi Carlile - Love Songs...

When I was in Two Harbors this morning Amber said she wanted to play this old Brandi Carlile song for me, so of course she did. Amber and I are always trading songs back and forth for each other to listen to and we both really like Brandi Carlile(we have seen her three time in the last year and half). Well when I heard this song I just loved it and Amber played it a few times and I liked it more and more each time.

There is something about Brandi's music and lyrics that touches the soul...speaks to the human condition, the heart...illuminates the depth of both the pain and the joy in being alive. The line, "...thoughts of you could give me smile lines..." I think is simply poetic and beautiful. Her lyrics speak to the beauty in life, even in the struggles...when moments feel like, "...sheer undiluted slog..." - yet there is still art in the living of life and creativity out of the madness of it all...


I could never write a love song,
I could never write a blue song,
When I'm in love I am a lover,
But I have always had the blues.

I'm afraid that no one sees me,
What will they say when I'm gone,
It occurs to me I think I miss you,
I think I miss you all along.

Out of the corner of my eye,
I’m not sure if I should think these things of you,
Is it the wrong place at the wrong time?
I think it’s just my turn to loose,
Thoughts of you could give me smile lines,
I'll laugh myself to sleep because I knew,
We were talking about a fine line,
Depends on who you're talking to.

If it's any consolation,
The blues have always had me too,
And if I'll ever write a love song,
I think I'll write it about you…

Thinking About The Psalms...

Is the point of the Psalms to let us know that it is really o.k. to say out loud all that it is we are feeling? To express openly the honesty of our heart with whatever words or emmotions that come out of the depth of our being, our existence? To know that even if no one around us can handle that and even if our own heart may not be able to handle it all...that God can take it all...


"I cry aloud to the LORD; I lift up my voice to the LORD for mercy.
I pour out before him my complaint; before him I tell my trouble.
When my spirit grows faint within me, it is you who watch over my way.
In the path where I walk people have hidden a snare for me.
Look and see, there is no one at my right hand; no one is concerned for me.
I have no refuge; no one cares for my life.
I cry to you, LORD; I say, "You are my refuge, my portion in the land of the living."
Listen to my cry, for I am in desperate need; rescue me from those who pursue me, for they are too strong for me.
Set me free from my prison, that I may praise your name.
Then the righteous will gather about me because of your goodness to me."

- David (Psalm 142:1-7)

...thanks Mary...

Grace in Knowing Where You Are From...

I received this poem from a dear Canadian friend this morning. It was read during the Opening Ceremonies of the Winter Olympics in Vancouver. I especially love these lines from the poem for they describe what Canada was to me on my recent journey there:

"...let this country be your first-aid kit
for all the times you get sick of the same old same old
let us be the story told to your friends
and when that story ends
leave chapters for the next time you’ll come back
next time pack for all the things
you didn’t pack for the first time
but don’t let your luggage define your travels
each life unravels differently
and experiences are what make up
the colours of our tapestry..."

Here is the complete poem:

“We Are More” by Shane Koyczan

When defining Canada
you might list some statistics
you might mention our tallest building
or biggest lake
you might shake a tree in the fall
and call a red leaf Canada
you might rattle off some celebrities
might mention Buffy Sainte-Marie
might even mention the fact that we’ve got a few
Barenaked Ladies
or that we made these crazy things
like zippers
electric cars
and washing machines
when defining Canada
it seems the world’s anthem has been
” been there done that”
and maybe that’s where we used to be at
it’s true
we’ve done and we’ve been
we’ve seen
all the great themes get swallowed up by the machine
and turned into theme parks
but when defining Canada
don’t forget to mention that we have set sparks

we are not just fishing stories
about the one that got away
we do more than sit around and say “eh?”
and yes

we are the home of the Rocket and the Great One
who inspired little number nines
and little number ninety-nines
but we’re more than just hockey and fishing lines
off of the rocky coast of the Maritimes
and some say what defines us
is something as simple as please and thank you
and as for you’re welcome
well we say that too
but we are more
than genteel or civilized
we are an idea in the process
of being realized
we are young
we are cultures strung together
then woven into a tapestry
and the design
is what makes us more
than the sum total of our history
we are an experiment going right for a change
with influences that range from a to zed
and yes we say zed instead of zee
we are the colours of Chinatown and the coffee of Little Italy
we dream so big that there are those
who would call our ambition an industry
because we are more than sticky maple syrup and clean snow
we do more than grow wheat and brew beer
we are vineyards of good year after good year
we reforest what we clear
because we believe in generations beyond our own
knowing now that so many of us
have grown past what used to be
we can stand here today

filled with all the hope people have
when they say things like “someday”

someday we’ll be great
someday we’ll be this
or that
someday we’ll be at a point
when someday was yesterday
and all of our aspirations will pay the way
for those who on that day
look towards tomorrow
and still they say someday

we will reach the goals we set
and we will get interest on our inspiration
because we are more than a nation of whale watchers and lumberjacks
more than backpacks and hiking trails
we are hammers and nails building bridges
towards those who are willing to walk across
we are the lost-and-found for all those who might find themselves at a loss
we are not the see-through gloss or glamour
of those who clamour for the failings of others
we are fathers brothers sisters and mothers
uncles and nephews aunts and nieces
we are cousins
we are found missing puzzle pieces
we are families with room at the table for newcomers
we are more than summers and winters
more than on and off seasons
we are the reasons people have for wanting to stay
because we are more than what we say or do
we live to get past what we go through

and learn who we are
we are students
students who study the studiousness of studying
so we know what as well as why
we don’t have all the answers
but we try
and the effort is what makes us more
we don’t all know what it is in life we’re looking for
so keep exploring
go far and wide
or go inside but go deep
go deep
as if James Cameron was filming a sequel to The Abyss
and suddenly there was this location scout
trying to figure some way out
to get inside you
because you’ve been through hell and high water
and you went deep
keep exploring
because we are more
than a laundry list of things to do and places to see
we are more than hills to ski
or countryside ponds to skate
we are the abandoned hesitation of all those who can’t wait
we are first-rate greasy-spoon diners and healthy-living cafes
a country that is all the ways you choose to live
a land that can give you variety
because we are choices
we are millions upon millions of voices shouting
” keep exploring… we are more”
we are the surprise the world has in store for you
it’s true

Canada is the “what” in “what’s new?”
so don’t say “been there done that”
unless you’ve sat on the sidewalk
while chalk artists draw still lifes
on the concrete of a kid in the street
beatboxing to Neil Young for fun
don’t say you’ve been there done that
unless you’ve been here doing it
let this country be your first-aid kit
for all the times you get sick of the same old same old
let us be the story told to your friends
and when that story ends
leave chapters for the next time you’ll come back
next time pack for all the things
you didn’t pack for the first time
but don’t let your luggage define your travels
each life unravels differently
and experiences are what make up
the colours of our tapestry
we are the true north
strong and free
and what’s more
is that we didn’t just say it
we made it be.

What do you think?

My Place This Morning...

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Gladness

My prayer this morning is that in some way, however small it may be that we can hear or experience the voice of our own gladness today. That whatever is needed for this to happen there will be grace sufficient for that...to escape the fear, the oppression, other voices and be free to hear our gladness!
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Grace in Wondering about Life...

Where do you go to resign? Resign from everything and just stop for awhile…throw in the towel and stop the spinning, the vertigo of the soul, the confusion and the complication of living. Is it really to much to want friendship and to be loved for who you are – why does being alive seem so obtuse and difficult – where is the freedom in it? To be…simply be…and not feel trapped or confined, to not have your heart darkened and overgrown with doubt, feeling as if it is in a black hole. Kris Kristofferson wrote that, “…freedom’s just another word for nothing left to loose and nothing ain’t worth nothin’ but it’s free…” – again I ask what T.S. Eliot asked, “…where is the life that is lost in the living?”

When Jesus began his ministry he first said this, "The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to set the oppressed free…”

So I want to know what this freedom is. How do we taste it, feel it, experience it? It seems a bit ethereal, like a dream that we somehow know is real yet that we wake from and forget in the daytimes of our existence. It seems as there are so many limiters in our happiness, either placed there by ourselves, prisons, oppression of our own making or those imposed upon us by others – it must be these limiters to being human, being alive that Jesus came to free us from, “…to set the oppressed free…” yet this is what we fear most – our own freedom!

I really think that there is pain and death in becoming alive, being born, being released out of oppression because it feels so different and unfamiliar that we don’t trust the reality of what we are experiencing so we want to go back to our oppression – doesn’t the story of the Israelites leaving Egypt really become all of our stories? We fear the unknown, the deserts, newness of what being really alive feels like, what freedom is – the fear is so overwhelming at times and we want to quit, to resign like I expressed I feel like doing today. It all seems too hard too heavy and it is so much easier not to risk, to retreat, to be alone, to isolate ourselves into a state of not feeling or nothingness.

To risk, to live, to love, to be a friend, to be in a community of people is to be free even if it means our lives will seem more unfamiliar, vulnerable, strange and most likely be more messy. Maybe that is the point of what Jesus is saying – be free, to see life for what it is – beautiful! And sure it will be messy and hard at times but that is o.k. because I am really good at messiness so go ahead and take the risk to be free and live, follow your heart and listen for my voice. Trust me…really trust me…

So has this been an attempt to talk myself out of resigning and keep pressing on and risking that love and being alive is in the end better than fear and isolation and desperation and death even though at times it really does not seem so?

I suppose it has helped a little.

Grace comes at these times I think and gives us something - maybe it’s hope, or a little peace, or a touch of a hand, a smile, a sparkle in an eye, a smile, a laugh, a beer with friends, knowing you are loved, a song, a gift, a good book, family, a sunrise or sunset, talking to an old friend, talking to a new friend, writing, listening to your heart, listening itself, giving something of yourself away, being with someone, sharing life, sleeping, a nap in the afternoon, a walk, running, feeling the sun on your face, a cup of coffee…whatever it is for you that touches you, makes life beautiful, something to hold onto and cherish…for God, “… has made everything beautiful in its time.”

Grace in Poetry...

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:

a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.

What do workers gain from their toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race.

He has made everything beautiful in its time.

He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.

I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live.

That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God.

Divine Milieu...Kasey Chamber's Lyrics - Hard Road...For Catherine, Mary and Me...

There's a fire on the mountain
There's a fire in my soul
There's a sign on the highway
It's a hard road

There's a break in a heart
There's a break in a bone
There's a ghost in the dark
It's a hard road

There's blood in the kitchen
In the shape of a sin
There's a ship in the water
But it ain't coming in
There's a fall of an angel
At the end of the show
But who's gonna save my soul
It's a hard road

There's a heavy jacket
There's a heavy load
There's a weight on my shoulders
It's a hard road

There's a howl at the backdoor
There's a howl in the cold
There's a broken bottle
It's a hard road

There's a strange feeling coming over me
Hollow eyes misery
There's someone at the backdoor
There's someone in the cold
God save my soul

Rich Mullins Comments...

Divine Milieu...Kasey Chamber's Lyrics - This Mountain...For My Friend Mary Lloyd...

Well a wise man once said to me
If your heart don't break you won't be free
But I'm as free as a bird
Flying out over
Flying out over the sea

I call out to the wind
No one comes to let me in
I hear the thunder
The weight on my shoulders
The weight upon my shoulder is crushing me

Shine down on this mountain
Rain down on my face
Call out to the river
To wash me out
To wash me out of this place

Well I wish that I was a sailorman
With the wheel of the ship held in my hand
[ Kasey Chambers Lyrics are found on www.getlyrics.com ]
But I don't like the water
I'm more like the anchor
I wish I was the anchor in me

Sometimes I wish I was a sin
So the ones I love wouldn't let me in
I wouldn't have to try to find the answers
To give 'em all the answers they need

Shine down on this mountain
Rain down on my face
Call out to the river
To wash me out
To wash me out of this place

Well a wise man once said to me
If your heart don't break you won't be free
But I'm as free as a bird
Flying out over
Flying out over the sea

Bono and Bill Hybels...The Church, Jesus...

U2...Bono..."An Era of Grace..."

Thought....Apostle Paul...

"Am I now trying to win human approval, or God's approval? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ."

-Paul

Thought...John Elderidge...

"Can you recall a time when a significant someone in your life sat you down with the sole purpose of wanting to know your heart more deeply, fully expecting to enjoy what he found there? More people have climbed Mt. Everest than have experienced real pursuit, and so what are we left to conclude? There is nothing in our hearts worth knowing. Whoever and whatever this mystery called I must be, it cannot be much.

“In fact,” we continue, “if I am not pursued, it must be because there is something wrong with me, something dark and twisted inside.” We long to be known, and we fear it like nothing else. Most people live with a subtle dread that one day they will be discovered for who they really are and the world will be appalled."

-John Elderidge

Divine Milieu...U2 - Miracle Drug...

I want to trip inside your head
Spend the day there
To hear the things you haven't said
And see what you might see

I want to hear you when you call
Do you feel anything at all?
I want to see your thoughts take shape
And walk right out

Freedom has a scent
Like the top of a new born baby's head

The songs are in your eyes
I see them when you smile
I've had enough I'm not giving up
On a miracle drug

Of science and the human heart
There is no limit
There is no failure here sweetheart
Just when you quit

I am you and you are mine
Love makes nonsense of space
And time, will disappear
Love and logic keep us clear
Reason is on our side, love

The songs are in your eyes
I see them when you smile
I've had enough of romantic love
I'd give it up, yeah, I'd give it up
For a miracle, a miracle drug, a miracle drug

God I need your help tonight

Beneath the noise
Below the din
I hear a voice
It's whispering
In science and in medicine
I was a stranger
You took me in

The songs are in your eyes
I see them when you smile
I've had enough of romantic love
I'd give it up, yeah, I'd give it up
For a miracle, miracle drug

Miracle, miracle drug

Thought...

"Tell the truth, have you ever found God in church? I never did. I just found a bunch of folks hoping for [God] to show. Any God I ever felt in church I brought in with me. And I think all the other folks did too. They come to church to share God, not find God."
- Alice Walker, from her book The Color Purple
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Toronto Early Morning.jpg

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Lake Michigan on Hwy 2.
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Driving thru Michigan in the snow and listening to music.
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Journey Thru The Past...

Well, I am leaving Canada today and heading towards Michigan to stay with some friends near Grand Rapids. It has been an incredible journey: Toronto, Brantford, Ottawa and then back to Brantford. Talked and spent time with a lot of family and some dear old friends that I had not seen in a long, long time and all this has helped give me some perspective on life.

I will write more about all this when I am back in Minnesota, as the experiences and memories crystallize into thoughts to write down.

Although, this trip has been exactly what I needed at exactly the time I needed it - I am looking forward to seeing Amber, Brooke and Cade and some dear friends back in Minnesota who I really missed while I have been away.

Grace In A Psalm...

"The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths for his name's sake.
Even though I walk through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.
Surely your goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever."

Grace in Poetry II...For Catherine...

"The journey is the accumulation of stillness. Patience. Emptiness. The union that I seek is not of my creation. The self I have created impedes union. Stillness must be learned, and the endless time in which I learn it is filled with doubts and desolations. Stillness often feels like abandonment. Why isn't Spirit communicating with me? What have I done to deserve such a stony, cold silence? How do I avoid filling with new terrors the emptiness that terrifies me?"

-T.S. Eliot, from “East Coker”, Four Quartets

Grace in Poetry...

"And what you thought you came for
Is only a shell, a husk of meaning
From which the purpose breaks only when it is fulfilled
If at all. Either you had no purpose
Or the purpose is beyond the end you figured
And is altered in fulfillment."

-T.S. Eliot, from “Little Gidding”, Four Quartets

A Thought...

"Your vision will become clear only when you look into your heart. Who looks outside, dreams. Who looks inside, awakens."
-Carl Jung

Divine Milieu...Leonard Cohen - Anthem...

"The birds they sang
at the break of day
Start again
I heard them say
Don't dwell on what
has passed away
or what is yet to be....

You can add up the parts
but you won't have the sum
You can strike up the march,
there is no drum
Every heart, every heart
to love will come
but like a refugee.

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack, a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in..."

A Thought on Grace...

"If judgment tramples a soul & tears it apart, grace is the thread capable of stitching it back together."

-Josh Riebok

Divine Milieu...Sarah McLachlan - Angel...

"...there's always one reason
to feel not good enough
and it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction
oh beautiful release
memory seeps from my veins
let me be empty
and weightless and maybe
I'll find some peace tonight....

...so tired of the straight line
and everywhere you turn
there's vultures and thieves at your back
and the storm keeps on twisting
you keep on building the lie
that you make up for all that you lack
it don't make no difference
escaping one last time
it's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh
this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees....

...you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort there
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort here..."

Divine Milieu...Joni Mitchell - Both Sides Now...

“Something's lost but something's gained in living every day…”

Grace in Knowing Your Heart...

“Christians have spent their whole lives mastering all sorts of principles, done their duty, carried on the programs of their church . . . and never known God intimately, heart to heart. The point is not an efficient life of activity—the point is intimacy with God. “You will find me,” God says, “when you seek me with all your heart” (Jer. 29:13). As Oswald Chambers said, “So that is what faith is—God perceived by the heart.”

What more can be said, what greater case could be made than this: to find God, you must look with all your heart. To remain present to God, you must remain present to your heart. To hear his voice, you must listen with your heart. To love him, you must love with all your heart. You cannot be the person God meant you to be, and you cannot live the life he meant you to live, unless you live from the heart.”

-John Elderedge

Divine Milieu Interlude After All That Heavy Stuff...Kasey Chambers - Wildflower...Beautiful Song...

I'm a wildflower by the highway,
Up against the rain
I'm an old man, growing tired,
Getting used to the pain,

I'm a wildflower in a garden,
Tended everyday,
I'm an old dog, hard to love,
And even harder to change.

But it's no time to be slowing down,
It's no time to be turning 'round,
You could blow a hole right through this town
If I don't ever let you down,

I'm a wildflower by the streetlight
Where the night begins,
I'm an old house, barely breathing,
As the walls fall in.

But it's no time to be slowing down,
It's no time to be turning 'round,
You could blow a hole right through this town
If I don't ever let you down,

I'm a wildflower, and I'm an old man.
There's so much in between

And it's no time to be standing by
it's no time to be asking why
You could blow a hole right through this town
If I don't let you down…

Grace is God's Fuck You to Satan...Satan Can't Figure Out That He Has Lost...

“…he will crush your head, and you will strike his heel."
-Yahweh

"The God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet."
-Paul

“But where sin increased, grace increased all the more…”
-Paul

"And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross."
-Paul

Grace Makes Satan Scream...

Evil can never outrun grace...

Bono on Grace...

"I'm holding out for grace. I'm holding out that Jesus took my sins onto the cross, because I know who I am, and I hope I don't have to depend on my own religiosity."

Grace in Living..."His work is good, not easy..."

In an e-mail from Catherine today were these words:

“I was in Valencia for the last couple of weeks and last week I went down to Nord Beach in Gandia and enjoyed running on the beautiful beach there. It has been so good to be away from Madrid for awhile. All week I have been running along Nord Beach, yet today as I went the same route, I noticed that my path had changed. The tide had come in and the usual place of hard sand was now under water. I was complaining in my spirit how much I hated running along the loose sand when I heard Jesus say to me, “I have prepared a new path for you. Don’t look for the familiar way of doing things.” I offer this truth to you - God is going to do a new work in you. Do not look for what is familiar and known, but trust that He is at work and His work is good, not easy.”

What struck me about the words in the e-mail were the last six, “His work is good, not easy” as those are exactly the same words that Shirley Wanchena (the founder of Pacim In Terris retreat center) spoke to me after my three day and night silence retreat this past September. Verbatim, those six words! Now as they reverberate within my heart I am discerning the significance of it – I know in my being the words are true. It is the hearing of them again that is rattling my heart.

As I think about this “Journey thru the Past” that I am on, I am again thinking about something I read by Brennan Manning some time ago and it came back to me today and I searched through some old journals to find the reference as I knew that I had recorded it. This is what he wrote:

"Jesus perceived that the only way to help people experience life as a gracious gift, the only way to help them to prize themselves as grace and treasure, was to treat them as treasure and be gracious to them. I can be anointed, prayed over, sermonized to, dialogued with, and exposed to God’s unconditional love in books, tracts, and tapes, but this marvelous revelation will fall on ears that do not hear and eyes that do not see, unless some other human being refreshes the weariness of my defeated days. Barring prevenient grace, we humans simply will not accept our life and being as God’s gracious gift unless someone values us. We can only sense ourselves and our world valued and cherished by God when we feel valued and cherished by others."

Awhile back a friend told me me, “Just follow Jesus and quit wondering if what you are doing is right or wrong. It is time to live.” I now have to fully agree with my friend, that the beauty in living is in being fully alive and being with people that both cherish you and you cherish. You can waste a whole lifetime stuck in and consumed with regret, “shoulding on yourself” as my friend Gary quipped to me one afternoon and never experience what living is. Sister Mary Michael O’Shaughnessy made this her daily prayer, “Today I will not should on myself.”

Because as Bennan Manning explains we all have, “…unique, mysterious, and irreplaceable personality” and it is in our personalities that we have to be loved and to love – our personalities, the essence of who each of is as a person with the Imago Dei imprinted deep within us. This is what needs to be cherished in friends and community, when someone dear comes into your life for the first time or again into your life and, “…refreshes the weariness of my defeated days” this is beautiful as, “…we humans simply will not accept our life and being as God’s gracious gift unless someone values us. We can only sense ourselves and our world valued and cherished by God when we feel valued and cherished by others.”

Manning again, “Hope is the good news of transforming grace now. We are freed not only from the fear of death but from the fear of life; we are freed for a new life, a life that is trusting, hopeful and compassionate.” Really, what is there to fear, Jesus told each of us, “I am with you.”

Another aspect of all this is, to do it for yourself, as Frederick Buechner comments, “…love yourself the way you would love your friend in the sense of taking care of yourself, nourishing yourself, trying to understand, comfort, strengthen yourself” because after all what good will you be to anyone else if you are a wreck? In all this, “…His work is good, not easy” as St. Isaac of Syria wrote, “The way of God is a daily cross. No one has ascended into heaven through an easy life.”

All of life is like this and so that is why it is so necessary to have, “…friends that are as good as spring itself…” for in the midst of living there will be to some degree confusion as Daniel described our human condition, “…to us, o Lord, belongs confusion of face…” and as Bono explains, “Belief and confusion are not mutually exclusive. I think belief gives you a direction in the confusion. But you don’t see the full picture. That’s the point. That’s what faith is…” That is why those six words are so true, “…His work is good, not easy.”

Divine Milieu...Kasey Chambers-The Captain

This song is as beautiful as the person who introduced me to Kasey Chambers music.


Well I have handed all my efforts in
I searched here for my second wind
Is there someone here to let me in I asked
So I slammed the doors they slammed at me
I found the place I'm meant to be
I figured out my destiny at last

And you be the Captain
And I'll be no-one
And you can carry me away if you want to
And you can lay low
Just like your father and if
I tread upon your feet you just say so
'Cos you're The Captain, I am no-one,
I tend to feel as though I owe one to you,
To you

Did I forget to thank you for the ride
I hadn't tried I tend to runaway and hide

Contemplation...

"You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand."
-Jesus

Perhaps he is in some way saying these words to all of us at moments in our lives when we lack clarity or understanding - saying, "trust me" or it's "o.k." - "...you will understand" what is going on in your life, maybe just not at the moments you want to.

Divine Milieu...Annie Lennox - Why...

A putting to rest of the past, a hopeful anticipation of the future and an authentic living in the fullness of each moment of the present is a glimpse of grace.

I may be mad
I may be blind
I may be viciously unkind
But I can still read what you're thinking
And I've heard it said too many times
That you'd be better off
Besides...
Why can't you see this boat is sinking
(this boat is sinking this boat is sinking)
Let's go down to the water's edge
we can cast away those doubts
Some things are better left unsaid
But they still turn me inside out
Turning inside out turning inside out
Tell me...
Why
Tell me...
Why

Wide Awake...

“Listen to your life….because in the last analysis all moments are key moments, and life itself is grace."
- Buechner

“This desperation, dislocation
Separation, condemnation
Revelation, in temptation
Isolation, desolation
Let it go and so to find away
To let it go and so to find away
To let it go and so to find away…”
-Bono

Haven’t written for a few days…I suppose I have been absorbing the experiences of the moments so that I can better appreciate them, as Buechner is correct in his estimation that all moments are key moments and there is much grace in life even when we may not be aware of it. It is always present in some way or ways.

When I woke up this morning I had this lyric from John Lennon in my head, “Life is what happens when you are making other plans…” and I am not sure why. Yet, it was there playing in my head over and over then the lines from U2’s song “Bad” began to intermingle with the Lennon song and maybe in someway life is truly like what was playing in my head.

It seems we become so caught up in plans, the future, even the past, so that we no longer know what it is to be in the “moments” and life happens to us regardless, it is relentless in its pursuit of us. So then it is in finding some sort of release, as Bono sings, “Let it go and so to find away, to let it go and so to find away…” and in this release the “moments” can be absorbed into your being. And not lost, so that the living of life does not escape but rather life is experienced in all of its potentiality and we are aware of the presence, the fullness and the beauty that is in life, in being alive, a human being. To be “…wide awake, not sleeping…”

Why We Enjoy Music - The Daily Dish | By Andrew Sullivan#more#more

Why We Enjoy Music - The Daily Dish | By Andrew Sullivan#more#more