"Our lives disconnect and reconnect, we move on, and later we may touch one another, again bounce away. This is the felt shape of a human life, neither simply linear nor wholly disjunctive nor endlessly bifurcating, but rather this bouncey sequence of bumping into's and tumblings apart."
~ Salman Rushdie, The Ground Beneath Her Feet
i know you're looking for the comments, so i'll just keep giving them to you until you see what i see. nice to know how we feel doesn't define who we are...you are special to many people.
ReplyDeleteHeartbreak-Passage into Light by S.E.Foster
ReplyDelete"You know what I hear in your story? Heartbreak.
A broken heart. And you know how I recognize it?
Because I walked with heartbreak all the days of my young life. Everybody has a different story of how they got the heartbreak. But when you've had it, you recognize it, you know the symptoms.
In my house, my mother was a lovely woman, a beautiful woman. But somewhere along the way I believe she got deeply hurt or got frightened. And I think that what she told herself was she was going to make sure that there was no more heartache or storms in her life. So she wouldn't let anything that even looked like a storm come into her life.. Of course that also meant that she couldn't find
love. Because everyone wise in love knows that there ain't no such thing as love that doesn't have any storms.
But if you got love and you got no storms, you got a play act or a movie, but not real love.
Course on the other hand, if all you got is
storms, you don't have love-you got drama.
So because she was heart broken, my mother gave
us everything but her tender wounded heart. And anybody wise in love knows that the one thing children-or people for that matter-can't hardly live without is love. We all look pretty on the outside, fed, clothed and polished. But we are messsed up on the inside. She didn't intend to harm us, she probably went to the grave not ever knowing it-but trying to keep storms away on the outside, trying to do what she thought would keep her & us safe, but it just kept the storms brewing on the inside of us. It's sad what heartbreak will do. It made me ashamed. I didn't want anyone to know that mother wouldn't love me.So I know hearbreak when I see it, alright. When no else loved me, I could feel the Lord Holding me at night. He did something special for me. He Healed my broken heart. So I started praying to Him about my broken heart. I cried to Him about all the hurt,shame and confusion in my life, I begged Him.
But one day I didn't hurt anymore. The pain just went away. He took my broken heart away, rolled it away like a stone, and He gave me a new heart.
We can't try so hard to keep control of our lives, to keep pain & storms out. When we try so hard we leave someone else with a broken heart.What they don't know is that God is also the God even in the storms. Thunder comes when God is creating-be it peace, love, joy or families. They don't know that God's storms won't kill you & that out of the storms God brings deliverance & order-devine order.
You know I can't make all the hurt go away. But I now someone who can, He heals broken hearts. I'm living testimony, He healed my heart, I know He can heal yours. And you remember that I told
you so.
Now I can't tell you that everything is perfect. I have been through a lot and I got the scars to
prove it.But He gave me more love than I could
ever imagine. The scars I have, I just use them now to prove to other people they can be healed. God gave me joy. He is a mercy God.
You have been through a lot, But you need to know the Lord is with you & He is going to make something beautiful out of all the turmoil you have been through.
I know all you see around you now are shadows. And in the shadows it feels like you are all alone, like you're in a thick dark fog and there are others lurking in the darkness waiting to do you harm. Remember God is walking with you in the shadows . You have to learn to recognize His touch. When you are lost or frightened, don't be afraid to cry out to Him.
He knows the voice of His sheep. He'll walk with you and direct you.He'll correct your path.
The Lord would not have you enter the battle if He did not know that you are strong enough to win. Forgive & forget the hurts that you suffer, no matter who does it.
Part two follows
Part 2..Heartbreak..Passing into Light-S.E.Foster
ReplyDeleteYou win by praying to God. Praying just a little
bit of His Word. You win by crying out His Name.Sing to Him, shout to Him. Beg Him to walk with you.
You are never never never alone. You have forces at work for you--God's army, in a kingdome that you can't see.
You have to pass through the shadows to get through to the Light. Don't ever give up"
Also our God does not make creeps, we are His
children, He looks at our hearts.
I would like to pray for you...
Father God I pray for Chris, who You are using
in Your service Lord. Protect him from the evil
schemes of Satan. Chris is committed to You and we know that Satan will do all he can to bring an end to that. Prepare Chris. Bring Your Word to his mind that he will meditate on it day & night and be ready for whatever the devil wants to throw at him. Amen
"Many times the most difficult journey we face is the journey back home---either the journey of self-exploration or the journey of unfinished business. When we have changed and been blessed, its often easier to walk forward in our new lives and leave the old rubbish behind. We struggle as we wonder how those who knew us then will accept us now.
ReplyDeleteWe wonder if the people or the old situations will be the same. We don't want to go back, and there are plenty of logical reasons not to go there.
It may be that some people don't have to back, but if these words are tugging at your heart, then you possibly have such a journey before you. There are old friends, family, lifestyles, or even old enemies that need to see the new you.
Others of you have been afraid to change, to be all that your spirit longs to be, because you are afraid of what people or what your past will say. We have become satisfied with enduring, we're afraid to hope for anything more. We're afraid to hope for joy.
Fear not.
I want to encourage you to embrace the journey ahead of you. Don't let unfinished business defeat you. Be assured that God has a plan for you. The journey that awaits you is part of that good plan.Don't waste your time or energy imagining the worse. What lies ahead may look impossible, but God loves you. You may be from a hopeless place or a downtrodden past. Know that He loves you and He only has good plans for you--"plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"(Jer,29:11)
What God has planned for you is more than you could even think or imagine. I am not simply sharing Scripture with you. I'm sharing what I know, what I have experienced. Surrendering to
God's plan has changed my life in ways I never could have imagined. I have joy and blessings, I didn't even know to ask for, and not because I am perfect with a spotless past, but because God is good and merciful and He takes pleasure in restoring those of us who are lost and broken.
Step boldly into what God has for you. While you step,breathe in joy. In fact, hold your head up and sing a song. Expect the best, God is the God of the whole universe and He is determined to give you the best life you will allow. No matter how long it takes, no matter how many angels He has to dispatch, God is determined to give you a happy ending. Don't expect anything less.
Sharon Ewell Foster-author
Passing into Light
Great song Chris. I love the question, ‘What the hell am I doing here?’ and the realization ‘I don't belong here’. On the surface this seems like an expression of hopelessness, but I see it as the first piece of tinder that will eventually flame into hope and action. But it is clear that the song is a dirge full of suffering.
ReplyDeleteTo come to the realization that one is a ‘creep’ a ‘weirdo’ is painful. Suffering is not a simple phenomenon, it’s multifaceted. Paul Ricoeur offers this appraisal, ‘[s]uffering is not defined solely by physical pain, nor even by mental pain, but by the reduction, even the destruction, of the capacity for acting, of being-able-to-act.’ Dante captures this realization in his Inferno when he describes both Satan and the sinners who occupy the 9th circle of hell as being frozen in ice. Immobility is ultimate suffering.
There are no simple answers to solve the problem of suffering, but I think in the song there are hints of how to proceed. I see questioning in the song as an action, a wiggle of the mind to free itself from the ice. ‘What the hell am I doing here?', is really the same as, Why am I in hell? The realization ‘I don’t belong here’ is the start of a thawing which will make more movement possible. It will lead to another question: If I don’t belong here, where do I belong? And this question is the beginning of hope; hope that there is a place that we can belong, and the start of a quest to find a place to dwell in peaceful activity.
Chris, keep moving.
Love,
Patrick