I want to sit with someone that I care about and that cares about me and simply be for a long time. For part of a day and into the night, talking when we want to talk, and sharing in the silence when that is all there is. To feel the tangible closeness of two souls next to each other as the slow moments of time elapse. Content, relaxed, at peace – finally arriving at that place where poetic memories are created and captured for eternity.
"Around here it’s the hardest time of year
Waking up, the days are even gone
Though the color of my coat
Lord help me killing off the cold
Where the raindrops sting my eyes
I keep them closed
I don’t feel a lot of pain only the lonely
And my quietest friend
Ever the moonlight, have I let you in
Say it ain’t so, say I’m happy again..."
-Brandi Carlile
I have a relative who grieved the loss of her husband to cancer, perhaps you may think this is easier than loss due to a lack of love, however, she grieved for 12 years and now, 15 years later, her biggest regret is those lost 12 years. Sometimes, when we are dealing with loss, we let ourselves get caught up in the minutia of it all. There is a bigger picture out there - one into which your new life fits! If you "want" this new life, start by setting some goals, write them down and then take one small step at a time and you will walk out of this melancholy that has been gripping your life.
ReplyDelete...as Carl Sandburg said..
"Time is the coin of your life. It is the only coin you have, and only you can determine how it will be spent. Be careful lest you let other people spend it for you."
I have not walked in your shoes but this I do know - you always have to take care of yourself first and to do that, you must force yourself to take action when inertia is your biggest foe.
As always, I am thinking of you with support and concern.
Love,
Aunt Carol